


Implexium Vitae

by Not_just_any_fangirl



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: (is that a spoiler???), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Amnesia, Angst, B) they do the naughty while Lucy is still human, Blood Drinking, F/M, I mean, I should be concerned, Period Piece, Reincarnation, Smut, Soulmates, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, he has had a rough life, how is that an offered tag, is it character death if they died in a past life?, listen, lmao poor Natsu, lol and after, my boy, oh well, probs lmao, these tags are a mess, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8483956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_just_any_fangirl/pseuds/Not_just_any_fangirl
Summary: It is said that some people have old souls, reborn every couple centuries to find their loved ones again and continue on their never ending journey. But what happens to these intersecting lives when one is immortal and the other is ripped from them? Vampire AU.





	1. i

Lucy walked under the heavy shade of the trees, the bare light of the stars filtering through patches in the foliage above her. She looked up once more, and waved her hand slightly as she passed under the constellation Leo. She had already said goodbye to the stars for the evening, but it always felt like he was following her home, protecting her. At least, that’s what her mother used to tell her all those years ago. She sighed as she lowered her hand, picking up her pace. She must have slowed down, looking up at her gaurdian lion. She knew she should be scared being out in the woods in the middle of the night, but the quiet air and black sky always soothed her more than the sun’s rays ever could. 

The night was where she belonged.

Lucy shook her head slightly, physically trying to clear her thoughts from her head. It wouldn’t due to dwell on her nagging feeling that she didn’t belong, it would only depress her further. No, she would walk through each day with a smile on her face, and wait patiently until the sunset so that she may once more go and talk to her stars in her favourite clearing. As her mother had taught her to. Lucy sighed wistfully, turning her body so that she could walk backwards and face her beloved clearing. A 20 minute walk along a thin trail and a 5 minute hike through bush was all that separated her little house on Strawberry Street and her private escape. The clearing itself was beautiful. Soft grass expanding in a large circle, bordered by a patches of pink flower whose petals followed the moon and trees so tall that it felt like she was peering into a different realm than her own.

In that place she was free. Free from the bankers trying to get her inheritance, a cruel reminder that her father passed away months ago. Free from the insistent charms of young men who sought her hand, leering at her body when they thought she was unaware and making Lucy’s skin crawl. But mostly when she was in her clearing she was free from her loneliness. 

Lucy knew it was mostly her own fault how isolated she was, but how could she help it if she found the words in her many books to be better company than the people who came to her doorstep? The local librarian and bookstore owner were probably the people she spoke most to out of her own free will, but even then she would never go as far as to call them friends. The town of Magnolia was small, with even fewer people that didn’t make Lucy want to claw her eyes out. If anyone, or anything, were to be called her friends she supposed it would have to be the stars. 

So she went to the clearing every night, weather be damned. 

Lucy gripped the fabric of her dress in her hand, lifting it as she stepped over a well known branch in her path. Lucy chuckled lightly to herself as she realized she indeed  _ could _ walk this path backwards and blind, she knew it so well. She smoothed out the shallow wrinkle in the red fabric, pride moving her hand without her mind's consent. She had worked for more hours than she cared to admit on this dress, overcome by the odd desire to sew. Lucy had never sewn before in her life, and yet she had found herself pouring over books and her dining room table was littered with cloth for  _ weeks _ . The finished product had been the dress she currently wore, the long fabric barely brushing against the ground as she walked, the white fabric underlayers rustling softly with every step. The sleeves fell to mid forearm, also ending in a billowing of white fabric peeking out from beneath the red. The square neckline exhibited Lucy’s well endowed chest nicely, leaving her neck free from restraint. She always hated covering it for some reason. 

Lucy looked at the front of her dress, playing with the folds of the wide gold sash that rested on her hips, the pleats stitched into the back swaying with her movements. The way that the light scattered on the fabric as she walked darkened the red colour, giving it the almost smooth look of fresh blood.

A soft noise behind her gave her pause, drawing her mind away from it’s odd thoughts. She turned on her heel, expecting to find perhaps a squirrel or a small animal, but was met with the empty path. She stayed still for a second, the soft sounds of the sleeping forest surrounding her. Unease grew in Lucy’s chest, she could have sworn she had heard something...

Shrugging Lucy continued to walk along the path, her pace faster than before. It was late and her landlady always made a fuss in the morning if Lucy made too much noise coming home. Lucy kept her eyes in front of her as the trail widened out into the well worn path that would lead her back to her apartment, unable to shake the strange feeling that she was being watched.

* * *

 

The next week was full of monotonous meetings with bankers, silent shifts at the bookstore where she did odd jobs for the elderly couple such as organizing, recording inventory, and balancing their cheque books, and finally adding more pages to her latest obsession, her own story. Lucy had read so many books over the years, needing an escape from her dull everyday life, that her mind had grown with each word she absorbed. 

She wanted the chance to perhaps offer a similar soul their own escape one day. 

This would never happen though, if she kept rewriting this blasted page... Lucy sighed heavily as she replaced the quill in the inkwell, pushing the chair back from the cherry wood desk with a low groan. She waved to the doll placed on shelf above her desk, fit snugly alongside an ivory laced jewelry box. Mementos of her family. 

She had always longed for siblings, but her father had never remarried after Layla, and Lucy had been left to grow up a life of luxury with no one to talk to but servants and her mother’s memories and her stars. Lucy would have traded all her family's wealth for a true friend, the jewels and dresses and pleasantries weighing her down when all she wanted to do was soar. 

Jude had not approved. 

Lucy continued to look blankly at the wall, pushing the feelings back until she could focus on the positives. 

She had her happy memories of her mother and her father, laughter a vague melody at the back of her mind. Her father loved her, she knew, and her mother watched over her, and she was far luckier than most people. She was educated, and now she had the time to try new skills, what with the board taking control of her father’s railway company. 

Lucy needed her stars. 

Lucy slipped into her new dress, smiling at the snugness of it, and allowed herself a gracious twirl in front of the long mirror aside her bed. She was proud of her seam work, and knew it embellished her already generous curves. She had washed and hung the garment after her walk a week ago, choosing plainer dresses for her stars. She didn't know why, but tonight there was an energy in her muscles. The growing feeling of the chance of something...  _ Different  _ happening in her grove. Then again, she always became more introspective and fanciful the closer she drew to her mother’s death date. 

And her own birthday. 

Shaking her head of her somber thoughts Lucy hurried out her door, locking it behind her before walking into the light of the setting sun. 

Her meadow, and her stars, awaited. 

* * *

A light giggle arose from the centre of a clearing. Pale lights and melodic sounds seemed caught on the branches of the skyward reaching trees, circling through the air until the whisper grew in echo to a loud crescendo.

Lucy laid on her back, hands clasped over her stomach as she looked up at her stars. She remembered a fairy tale her mother had told her about Aquarius, and how the mermaid in the sky was surrounded with water so much that she hated any child that cried. Layla had immediately followed her story with reassuring Lucy that crying was human, so of course the stars could not understand their sadness, and that there was no shame in feeling so much that it simply over poured. Lucy had still insisted that she would not make Aquarius angry, because the stars were her friends.

And they had proved to be her most reliable ones. 

Lucy sighed, eyes trailing over to where Capricorn approached the centre of the sky. He was always her chaperon, telling her when she was out too late by his journey across the inky blackness. 

She stood then, looking around her hidden world. An old ache clutched around Lucy's heart as she thought about how her mother would have loved this spot. Lucy had only found it a few short years ago, having used it as an escape during her and her father’s usual spats. Her father...

Lucy turned from her grove sharply. Indeed, it appeared Lucy had been out here too long, as she always became lost in her mind under the silver light of the moon. She took several steps past the tree line, a heavy shadow making her jump as it fell from a tree. Lucy focused on what she was seeing, expecting maybe a carcass of an unfortunate creature or a small hunter. 

Instead she found herself looking at a pair of black shoes curtained from behind by a ratty looking edge of a cape. Lucy froze and her vocal cords refused to allow her to scream. Had she been followed? Where had he come from? What did he want with her? The unknown man took a step towards her and Lucy’s wide eyes shot up to his face. 

Hair coloured similar to the flowers in her clearing was loosely spiked at all angles, bangs falling just into his eyes. Green eyes, that pierced into Lucy’s soul and would have stolen her breath if Lucy had been able to use her lungs properly. He took another step forward and Lucy took an equal one away. Slanted eyes followed her movements, the most noticeable thing about his younger looking face. Lucy guessed he was about her age of 18, maybe a year or two older. His nose was straight and skin smooth, a light caramel colouring unseen in her part of the world. A small thought in the back of her mind decided he would be attractive if his face wasn’t warped by the mild sneer.

“Why do you carry her scent?”

Lucy was thrown by his question, voice deep, gravelly, and commanding. Lucy bristled under his intense stare. She had had many people in her life attempt to push her around, and Lucy Heartfilia wasn’t one that was so easily forced to cower. She raised her chin at the stranger and spoke in a confident, though polite, tone. 

“I pardon?” The stranger’s lips quirked so briefly Lucy thought she imagined it before his scowl deepened and he was suddenly in front of her. Gloved hands gripped her upper arms and Lucy leaned as far away as she could in his grasp, too startled to think of pulling away fully. His eyes peered into hers, the sudden fear and confusion mixing equally in her mind. His hands tightened slightly where he held her as he spoke.

“I said, why do you carry the scent of her blood on you?” he snarled at her, agitation growing in his narrowed eyes. Lucy finally gathered herself enough to try and pull away from him. His grip tightened until it felt bruising as she struggled in his grasp. Realizing she wasn’t going to escape his abnormally strong hold on her own Lucy glared up at him as a wave of anger hit. She didn’t smell of blood, she hadn’t even  _ seen _ another human being in at least 4 hours. This entire thing was ridiculous, and Lucy had worn down her tolerance of people earlier this day at the market place.

“I don’t know who this ‘she’ is, but I can’t blame her if she’d want to be nowhere near you if this is how you treat others,” Lucy bit out, tone sharp. The stranger's eyes widened before he gave her a rough shake, baring his teeth at her and revealing abnormally sharp canines. Lucy swallowed as a fresh wave of fear crashed into her. Maybe picking a fight with a strange man in the middle of nowhere wasn’t the brightest idea, but Lucy had never had a good filter between her mind and mouth.

“Do not speak of what you can not understand.” he hissed as he towered over her. His hair was beginning to block her meager view of the stars once more, and Lucy wondered if this was how she was going to die. 

Lucy felt his grip loosen and he returned to his own space, her head tilting to the side slightly as she watched a shudder travel through the man’s shoulders, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips.  _ So it was possible for him to make a face other than a scowl, _ Lucy inwardly mused, though the sides of his lips were still turned down. She also realized she should not be focusing on his lips so, and that she should be much more terrified. 

Lucy started when one of his hands released her arm, trailing up to finger the ribbon she tied her hair up with, pulled slightly to the left of her head. The red silk ribbon matched her dress perfectly and made her long blonde hair stand out. His eyes glazed over as he fondled her ribbon gently, looking to be lost in thought. Was that a wistful expression he was wearing? He looked down at her suddenly, as though sensing her gaze on his face. His hand pulled lightly on the fabric, pulling it free of her hair and allowing the golden strands to fall down against her back. 

“Are you her daughter, perhaps?” he asked softly, though Lucy thought it was more to himself than directed at her. Lucy still tensed however, as any mention of her mother was a sensitive subject. She remembered the devastating sickness that had swept through the village when Lucy was only seven, her mother lost with many others. Lucy took a step away on her side where he wasn’t holding her and looked at him suspiciously.

“What do you want with my mother?” she questioned, holding his gaze as he seemed to realize she was still here. At his silence she continued speaking, hoping that at worse he would be shocked enough for her to break free. “She died eleven years ago, and you seem much too young to have known her personally.”

A sadness crumpled the man in front of her, and Lucy felt her heart go out for this stranger, though she couldn’t tell why. “Was...” he started to speak, voice suddenly tired. “What was her name?” Lucy peered at him suspiciously though she no longer tried to pull away. 

“Her name was Layla.” Lucy said softly, her own gaze becoming unfocused as she thought of her late mother. A sound of rage in front of her drew her attention, but she was suddenly pinned to the ground before she could even hope to scream. A dangerous growl pulled from his throat above her and his hands held her fast against the dirt, gripping her upper arms harshly again.

“Do not mock me,” he snarled lowering his face so his nose brushed against Lucy’s, her eyes wide with fear. Nothing this man did made sense! 

“I’m not mocking you! You asked for her name and that was it! Lay-” Lucy half shouted, but she was cut off as she was lifted and pushed back down roughly into the path. She saw stars dance through her vision as her head connected with the hard ground, and an ache in her shoulder told her it was either bruised on a rock or cut on it. 

“You do not speak that name,” he warned, and Lucy felt tears prick in the corner of her eyes. She just didn’t  _ understand what in heaven was happening _ . A tear managed to fall free of her eyelashes and Lucy turned her head away from the stranger above her, knowing that she could not show him anymore of her terror. Long seconds passed before either of them moved, the air between them thick with tension. A gentle caress of her chin tilted her head back towards his face, and Lucy ignored the soft warmth that flowed through his gloved hand and onto her skin from his thumb and forefinger. “It can’t just be a coincidence,” he murmured under his breath and his eyes traveled her face, the deadly aura from before gone. Instead it was replaced with one of searching, and perhaps even hope. He tilted her face gently in the other direction and froze suddenly. Lucy felt her already frantic heartbeat increase as his eyes narrowed in on a spot on her shoulder. Again the stranger moved with incredible speed, pulling Lucy up into a sitting position and ripping at the shoulder of her dress. His other hand released its hold on her, instead his entire arm wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her hair away from Lucy’s now bare skin. 

Sharp teeth sunk into her creamy flesh, and Lucy screamed out into the night. His grip was tight and she had no way to push his body from hers, their chests pinned together. Pain lanced through the junction of her neck and shoulder, and Lucy turned cold as he heard him swallow.

_ He was drinking her blood _ .


	2. ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is said that some people have old souls, reborn every couple centuries to find their loved ones again and continue on their never ending journey. But what happens to these intersecting lives when one is immortal and the other is ripped from them?

With as much warning as when he grabbed her the stranger released Lucy, who fell back and caught herself with one hand, the other shakily grabbing at the wound on her neck. 

He leaned back onto his heels as Lucy was frozen to the ground in horror. He wiped at his mouth with his glove, the white fabric stained crimson where it touched his lips. His eyes were focused lazily on Lucy’s shaking figure, but a red glow had replaced the intense green of his irses. Disbelief morphed into reluctant hope as he continued to stare at the blonde on the ground before him. Lucy however could not see the spark of life grow in his red eyes as she was too focused on what had just happened. He was a vampire. But they didn’t exist, and yet here was a man who moved with abnormal speed and strength, eyes that changed colour, and he had just  _ drank her blood _ . 

“Lucy?” he called softly, almost as though she would disappear if he said her name too loudly. Her eyes focused on his face, and she watched in hazy confusion as his face lit up with joy before breaking into an exhausted sob. Sorrow and relief kept flashing across his face and he reached out a hand to her, Lucy flinching away and using her arms to push herself farther away from the man - no, vampire- in front of her. She half expected anger to play across his face as she tried to flee from his grasp, but instead all she saw was hurt. His eyes were returning to the deep emerald colour of before, but they were now glazed over with unshed tears as he took in the sight of her, his lip quivering slightly. Lucy thought that she must look a mess now, hair free and mused, dress torn, blood smeared from her fingers and the punctures still dripping hotly where he had sunk his teeth into her. 

“Oh, gods, I’m so sorry Lucy, I-, I mean if I had  _ known _ it was actually... I never thought I’d see... no. No, I never should have let my emotions rule me like that. I haven’t let them in almost three hundred years, you know. But this place had held your scent so strongly, and I never-, I mean I gave up hope so long ago, but I  _ knew _ it was your scent,” the man above her spoke quickly, rambling in a watery voice, panic seeming to rest in his eyes. “I just, I just couldn’t let myself hope it was  _ you _ . But I needed to be certain, and I know your blood, I’ll never forget its taste. Oh god I hurt you didn’t I? Of course I did, I’m such an idiot, Lucy, please, please don’t be scared.” his voice was a whisper, pleading with her to stop running away. And Lucy’s body did still, letting him gently rest a hand on her hip. Her body was twitching though, adrenaline making it hard for Lucy to focus, one thought running through her mind over and over again.

“How do you know my name?” 

His hand stilled on her hip before it settled more firmly, Lucy once more feeling the pleasant heat soak into her body where he touched her. Sad understanding filled his eyes, a stray tear falling down his cheek and mixing with the trace of blood that he had missed earlier. “So it’s true, you really don’t remember me.” His voice was humorless, but a strained smile tugged at one corner of his lips. Lucy thought that it seemed like it had been a long time since he had smiled. Lucy looked at him puzzled, her fear having left her long ago. A dull ache was making its way from behind Lucy’s eyes to her forehead, and she couldn't help but feel like there was something she ought to know. At least, the man above her seemed to think so. 

The man motioned at her wound on her neck with his eyes, and spoke softly, the hope creeping into his worn voice again. “I, I can make that pain go away, if you let me.”

Lucy narrowed her eyes up at him and spoke warily. “You’re not going to drain my blood, are you?” Horror overcame his features in front of her, his body shifting closer as he brought his face towards Lucy’s. He shook his head violently from side to side as he spoke.

“No, no, Lucy, I’d never! Your life is far too precious to me, to even think of it slipping away again makes me sick.” His voice was so painfully sincere that Lucy felt herself nod, not fully understanding why. Ever so slowly he leaned forward, all movements obvious and exaggerated so that he wouldn’t take her by surprise, much like reaching out to an injured animal. The idea that she was only prey to him flashed through her mind before she shoved it aside. The way he had looked at her before, the breathless way he had tried to explain himself showed he cared. Lucy felt a tinge of guilt that he had mistaken her for another woman. It was clear he loved whoever she was dearly. 

Lucy’s thought ceased as she felt warm, chapped lips brush against her neck, hot breath somehow soothing the burn that still radiated from her wound. A gloved hand carefully put pressure against the back of her neck and head to hold her in place as the man tentatively stuck his tongue out and lapped at the drying blood that ran down her collarbone. His ministrations moved up to the punctures themselves, and he pressed soft, closed mouthed kisses along her skin before gently gliding his tongue along her wound. Heat flooded through her, Lucy have to bite back a sound of complaint in her throat when he started to move away. 

“Five hundred years ago you were mine,” he said softly once he had pulled back far enough to look at her eyes. Something inside Lucy broke a little, as that was the final push that proved she wasn’t truly who he’d been searching for.

“I’m so sorry, but I can’t possibly be who you think I am,” Lucy started in a low voice, resisting the strong urge to cup his cheek and wipe away his tears. “I’m only 18, I’ve never even left Magnolia.” Lucy couldn’t understand why this hurt her so much, how her body physically rejected the idea of him looking for another girl. He had just  _ attacked _ her for crying out loud, and here she was sighing like some lovesick schoolgirl. Lucy should really look at genres other than romance when she returned home.  _ If _ she went home. 

A soft chuckle sounded from the chest in front of her, and Lucy melted slightly as she looked into his hooded eyes, a shaky grin pulling at his lips.”You were taken from me, Lucy. Your soul has been reborn, but it is still you. After all these long years of wandering and searching, you’re still mine. You can feel the pull, can’t you? The hum that runs through your veins and pulses under your skin? My body hasn’t felt this alive since I lost you all those years ago,” his voice had become thicker the longer he talked, and Lucy watched as he blinked back tears. His thumb softly stroked her chin, his hand moving to cup the side of her neck now rather than the back of it. Lucy felt herself tip back her head as she continued to look into his eyes, his face inching closer to hers. She felt his lips brush against hers as he spoke before he sealed his hot mouth over hers.

“My Lucy.”

Fire exploded though Lucy’s being as his lips moved against hers, his tongue cautiously entering her mouth when she gasped at the shivers his tightening grip caused to ripple down her spine. One of her small hands bunched in the dark fabric of his cloak, her head tilting farther back to move against his mouth more freely. Their kiss quickly became heated, passion growing as he worked his lips against Lucy’s, pants falling into one another’s open mouths. When one of his sharp canines caught on Lucy’s lower lip, her mind was reduced to a single overwhelming thought.

_ Natsu _ .

Lucy pushed back on his chest lightly, Natsu relenting quickly and shifting to see what he had done wrong, peering intently at her face. Lucy felt tears flow freely down her cheeks and registered panic blooming on his tan face.

“Did I hurt you again? Lucy I- I’m so sor-” Natsu started to whimper, both hands cupping her face and his thumbs trying to catch her tears. Lucy just shook her head and lifted her hands to rest on top of his warm ones. 

“Na- Natsu?” Lucy stuttered, watching as his emerald eyes widened before they filled with fresh tears. He gave a short nod before yanking her into his chest, his strong arms pinning her against him. She felt him shake as sobs racked his body, Lucy not much better as she clung to the white scarf around his neck, only noticing it now. 

“Yeah,” he managed to choke out, burying his nose into her hair. “It’s me, Lucy. How much do you remember?” his voice was rough and deep, the tears dropping his voice half an octave. Lucy shook her head against his chest, clinging tighter to him. 

“Just your name. It- it flooded my head when you kissed me,” Lucy rasped against him. She felt like if she tried to get any closer to his body she would disappear inside him. How was it that being held like this, in the middle of a dirty forest trail in the hours before dawn managed to feel so much more  _ right _ than any other touch she had felt before. Lucy finally felt like she belonged here, curled up against Natsu’s chest, even if they were both sobbing. Not even her stars had made her feel like this before. Like she was  _ home _ .

She felt Natsu start to pull his body away from their embrace and Lucy panicked. He couldn’t leave her yet, she had just found him. Lucy hadn’t even known she felt incomplete, but she couldn’t imagine ever going back to her old life. The loneliness crushed her, and all she wanted was to see Natsu’s true smile. The airy chuckle above her made Lucy raise her head, allowing Natsu to pull back slightly. Amusement shone in his eyes as he looked over her face, and Lucy puffed out her cheeks in a pout. He had the gall to laugh at her, while she sat there fearing losing the man she had just met. Or re-met if Natsu was to believed. It was all very confusing to Lucy, but she knew she still didn’t care to be laughed at. Natsu’s chuckle broke into a full laugh, eyes squinting and shoulders shaking, joy radiating off of the him as he looked at the expression on her face. He leaned forward as Lucy narrowed her eyes at him, his lips brushing over her cheek. Light, feathery kisses littered Lucy’s face as Natsu traced her features with his mouth. The line of her eyebrows, the slope of her nose, the corners of her full lips, even the most puffed out part of her cheek were peppered with small kisses. He continued to chuckle and he spoke, soft lips brushing her skin.

“I’m not going anywhere, you weirdo. I just wanted to look at your face again. Gods, I’ve missed you Luce,” Natsu’s voice had taken on the smoothness of a purr, his deep rumble lifting Lucy’s heart and bringing a blush to her cheeks. Letting out a small ‘oh’, Lucy felt a soothing ache in her soul as the word ‘weirdo’ rang through her mind. He said it so tenderly, as though it was the highest compliment Natsu could give. An overwhelming need to say his name washed over Lucy and she lifted a shaky hand to cup his cheek as she spoke.

“Natsu,” her voice was gentle, her tone cautious as though she was trying to taste his name on her tongue. Natsu’s head shot back far enough to look into her eyes, and the hesitant awe she saw swimming in the emerald colour gave her more courage. The way Natsu looked at her was how she imagined a religious man to look at an angel descending from the sky above him. Lucy said his name again with more confidence, brushing her thumb along his flushed cheek. 

Lucy smiled as fondness for the man before her swept through her soul, his body melting into her hand. Natsu’s hand lifted and cupped the back of her neck, pulling her forward until their foreheads rested against one another's.

“Now what?” she asked softly, “Are you going to whisk me away into the night, far from the edges of society?” Natsu let out a breathy laugh, grip tightening on her neck just enough to ensure that she was real. That she was with him. Lucy smiled at the gesture, nudging his nose with her own in response.

“If that’s what you wish.” Natsu replied. 

“It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N; Second part downn yooo! 
> 
> Implexium Vitae means 'braided lives' in Latin, a play on the soulmate and intersecting destinies thing!
> 
> Listen peeps. This thing gets angsty. SO angsty. Painfully angsty. <3 Enjoy lol
> 
> As always let me know what you guys think!


	3. iii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is said that some people have old souls, reborn every couple centuries to find their loved ones again and continue on their never ending journey. But what happens to these intersecting lives when one is immortal and the other is ripped from them?

“It is.”

Lucy was shocked at the sureness in her own voice, steady and quick to answer. She held his gaze, shuffling closer so she could tuck her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder again. She burrowed deep into the scaled scarf, fabric surprisingly soft and pillowy against her cheek, warm scents of dusk and cinnamon lulling her to a comfortable relaxation. 

“I think...” Lucy murmured softly into his shoulder, her arms winding around his middle as she spoke, “I think I've missed you too Natsu. There's nothing left for me in this town to hold onto, and I can't help but find myself oddly thankful for it now. I just... I just want to be happy. And right now, all I think I need is to have the chance to fall in love with you again.”

She stayed where she was as she finished her quiet thoughts, Natsu slow as he settled his arms around her. His embrace tightened after a few seconds, pulling her so Lucy shifted into his lap in order to relieve the strained position her body was forced into. 

“I'd like that.” Natsu mouthed into her hair, Lucy humming at his raspy tone and rubbing her thumb along the side of his neck in tight and soothing circles. 

Lucy squeaked when she felt him move again, pouting at Natsu’s low chuckle as he slipped an arm under her knees and pulled her into a bridal position. He kept her tucked tight against his chest, so much that Lucy could feel his heavy heartbeat when she rested her palm against it, fingers spread wide under the tattered cape. He flitted through the trees, pausing to sniff the air periodically. It was only a fraction of the time it would have taken Lucy to walk before they were standing at the edge of the forest, looking at the dim lights of the town close by. 

Lucy smiled at his uncertainty, shifting so her feet touched the ground -but still staying with Natsu hugging her waist. She took his hand and led him along the worn path, gravel turning to cobblestones as they slipped between buildings. Lucy decided against the main street, not wanting to risk the townspeople seeing their unworldly guest. She also sensed that Natsu was not comfortable being so close to such a large gathering of humans. 

He was quiet, but not subdued. Lucy studied him as his eyes flitted from side to side, shoulders tense as he continually scanned the area as if he were expecting a threat to jump at them from the shadows. Natsu reminded her of a jungle cat she had read about, strong and lithe and always ready to go on the offensive. 

Lucy tried her best to stifle the bubbling giggles at the thought of Natsu with cat ears and tail. He gave her an odd look, eyes softening to a glowing fondness as he looked at her. Lucy blushed under the familiarity of his gaze but her hand tightened around his. 

They soon walked up to her front door, Lucy grateful that the landlady of 12 Strawberry Street had long since given up waiting for Lucy to return from her nightly wanderings, as she had no desire to explain her situation currently. The pair remained encased in a familiar silence as they climbed the staircase to Lucy’s modest lodgings, Lucy suddenly underwhelmed when she looked around the open living area. 

Memories of grand castles and sweeping forests whispered in the back of her mind, and the tiny place where she laid her head looked much, much less impressive than it had when Lucy first rented it. She shuffled her feet, head ducking as she left Natsu standing just inside the door. Her writing desk that she kept tucked in the corner was too much of a mess to hope to salvage in the moment, but the cloth sitting haphazardly on the table she ate at or the clean dishes she had yet to put away could be dealt with before she embarrassed herself too much in front of Natsu. 

She looked over the bundle of red satin in her arms to see Natsu had stayed in his spot. His eyes were closed and his chin turned up slightly, deep breaths drawing Lucy's attention to his chest. His white shirt was barely revealed under his worn cape and scarf, but the longer Lucy stared the more obvious it became that it had not been washed in ages. In fact, the once menacing aura that had surrounded Natsu had all but disappeared as she took in his disheveled dress and ashy complexion. Lucy didn't know how, but she  _ knew _ Natsu's skin wasn’t supposed to look so washed out and tired. 

Through the entirety of Lucy examining him Natsu had stayed still, a statue in front of her door. Finally, Natsu opened his eyes, and Lucy blushed a brilliant red at the euphoric bliss that clouded his emerald colouring as he looked around the room. It dawned on Lucy that his expression was one of almost intoxication, drunk off of the scent of her alone. 

“I almost forgot how good it felt to be surrounded by you.” Natsu whispered huskily, wandering over to where Lucy stood beside her table. His arms went to wrap around her waist but froze midair when he caught sight of Lucy's torn dress. He fingered the bloody fabric that hung from her shoulder, hand snatched away as he took a step back. Lucy frowned as she watched him press his palms tightly to his thighs, not allowing himself to reach out to her. 

She replaced the fabric on the table, focusing on Natsu now rather than her less than tidy boarding. She entwined their fingers, giving Natsu a small smile as the fear and repulsion left his emerald gaze. His hand relaxed in her hold and Lucy’s smile widened. When he returned her encouraging smile with a crooked -if weak- grin of his own, Lucy was almost overcome by simple desire, felt more strongly than anything she could recall from her previous life at the moment.

“May I kiss you again?”

Natsu’s eyes widened to saucers, causing Lucy to giggle at his overexpressed shock. Her quiet sounds were quickly silenced by Natsu’s mouth, soft and hesitant against her lips. He smiled against her at her eagerness to return the kiss, arms winding around her back while deepening it. Lucy broke away with a content hum, smiling as she watched Natsu try to chase after her with a furrowed brow. He cracked open one eye, lips pursing in a pout. His low whine made her beam up at him, fingertips trailing his sharp cheekbone before resting easily on the side of his neck. 

They stood in silence, seconds turning into minutes before yet another wave of... Something, washed over Lucy. It wasn’t quite realization, nor was it a memory. The odd mixture was most like suddenly recalling a vivid dream, a surety that the sensations felt were real despite the impossibility of them. 

“I made you this...” Lucy awed, fingering the tattered collar of the cape Natsu was wearing. “You kept it? All this time?” 

Natsu’s expression made her heart clench, his lips curled up in a tragic smile and his eyes dimmed. “You said it yourself, Luce. You made it for me.” He explained no further, but Lucy understood from his resigned voice.  _ It was all I had left of you _ .

Lucy rested her head against his chest, hugging him tightly and trying to convey her own message.  _ I'm here now _ . 

Her loud squeal broke the calm, Natsu having picked her up and carried her to the chesterfield without a word. He sat with a huff, pulling Lucy onto his lap before trapping her in his embrace. “Natsu!” Lucy called, struggling to chastise him through her laughter. His small sound in response spurred on her high laughs, the routine muscle memory as Lucy settled in his arms. Her legs ended up tucked against the side of his body, one arm around his shoulders and the other laying on her stomach. They fit together so well, Lucy was forced to truly contemplate that they were made to be together. 

“I'm never letting go again.” Natsu breathed into her hair, nose buried so it tickled the top of her ear. It was said so quietly Lucy was sure its was simply Natsu thinking out loud than a comment. Lucy turned her head so her nose brushed his cheek, hand cupping his jaw. 

“Good.” She whispered just as adamantly. 

Releasing a heavy sigh Lucy crawled from his hold, swatting playfully at his hands trying to pull her back to him. “Let me pack a bag and then we can embrace for as long as you want.”

Natsu perked up at the mention of continuing their intimate seating, his happy expression replaced by a snort and fanged smirk. “It's called cuddling Luce. You don't gotta be so formal with me.” Lucy's ears flamed under his open look, all trace of restraint and self doubt from before gone as he lounged on her furniture and threw his feet on the thinly cushioned stool in front of him. 

“Then we can... cuddle, after I pack my case.” Lucy restated with a small smile, twirling a loose strand of hair nervously. She hadn't talked so informally with anyone other than her stars since her mother had passed. 

“Aye.” Natsu hummed, eyes leaving her to scan her apartment with unbound curiosity. A whisper in the back of her mind told her to be quick, lest Natsu find something to entertain himself with that would leave her apartment in shambles. 

Lucy scurried into her small room, dragging her travel bag out from under the bed with a groan. She set to work stuffing her folded undergowns and dresses into the bag, stockings draped haphazardly across the clasp as she ran through a mental list. She halted when she looked at the stack of novels twelve high on her nightstand. There was no way she was going to be able to fit all of those, and yet she couldn’t bear to think of abandoning them. And then there was her novel notes, and her letters to her mother, not to mention Michelle and her jewelry box...

Lucy threw herself face first onto the thin blanket covering her bed, groaning dramatically. 

“Whatcha doing Weirdo?” 

Lucy screamed at the sudden voice sounding over her head, Natsu’s teasing tone not stopping her heart from leaping into her throat. After living alone for half a decade Lucy was not used to another presence, least of all one that could move silently into rooms and scare her blood cold. Natsu cackled at her response, head thrown back and perched on the end of her bed as Lucy scrambled to sit on her knees, sinking into the worn mattress. 

She glared at him, lips twitching between a smile or a scowl at the unapologetic grin Natsu beamed at her. Silence grew in the room, easy and familiar as Natsu waited for Lucy to answer his question. 

“I can't possibly take all my things with me in this small bag.” Lucy pouted. She gestured at the books and the fabric sticking out from the bag’s opening.

“Don't worry about all that stuff Luce, I have a bunch of it for you at all our places!”

Lucy looked at him blankly. Natsu's cheeks turned a flush pink, ear tips blending in with his unnatural hair. His shoulders rode high, chin tucked into his scarf as he fidgeted with it. “What?” She questioned gently. 

“I uh, kept collecting stuff I thought you'd like. In case I ever...” Natsu trailed off, burying his nose deeper into his scarf. “Is that weird?”

“Oh Natsu, no. No it's not.” Lucy soothed, shuffling on her knees until she was beside Natsu. She took his hand in hers, pausing as she felt the glove cloth rather than his warm skin. When had he taken to wearing gloves anyway? Lucy peeled the the stained fabric from his hand, a pleased hum escaping her small smile as she intertwined their bare fingers. She looked up at him when she felt his gaze on her. Natsu's eyes were wide, shocked at the touch of skin on his. It seemed so unfamiliar to him now, but the Natsu she knew could never stand to be completely alone. Never. 

“But how did you know you would find me?” She pressed, giving his hand a reaffirming squeeze. 

“I didn't.” Natsu shrugged. He pulled her so his arms was hung around her shoulders, fingers still interlocked and Lucy tucked into his side once more. “But I'd find a book I thought you'd like or a dress that I knew you would fawn over. You were always so weird and attracted to pretty things. And I just, kept collecting them I guess. As time went on I started to give up the idea that I would see you reborn.”

She cupped his jaw, guiding his face in her direction. “But you did, and we are together like we are supposed to be.” Lucy whispered firmly. 

Lucy's heart had broken as Natsu talked. She couldn't even imagine living for so many years without him, the loneliness suffocating her even at the thought of it. She tried to picture him in a grand castle, frowning at the realization that she had no idea what their house looked like. Did they truly sleep in coffins? Did they have a moat? Lucy thought Natsu might fancy having a moat. 

Just how many estates did they have?

Lucy asked the question, Natsu's grin dropping a little before returning fully, sincere and bright. She felt bad that her lack of memory was obviously hurting Natsu, but those emotions were forced aside by Natsu's sheer exuberance as he described a few of their boardings in far away lands. 

“Luce, just wait until we get back to Sin, I haven’t been there in a while but the trees should still be holding the house up. We used a wood that wouldn’t rot so all the rain will do shit all! And that’s where I’ve been keeping all your pretty sparkly things!” Natsu beamed at her. “Your garden went to hell though, you kn-, I mean I have a pretty black thumb when it comes to plants.” Natsu’s voice became strained when he caught himself, Lucy’s own smile diminishing. She opened her mouth to apologize but was brushed off, spoken over by Natsu as he rushed on to talk about an island estate they apparently had won the deed to several millennia ago. 

“Do we have an castles here in Fiore?” Lucy asked. Natsu’s face froze in the middle of forming a word, controlled blankness taking over his expression. 

“We did, once.” Natsu replied, voice flat and hollow. Lucy frowned, but didn’t press it despite her curiosity. Why was Natsu acting so strange? “Anyway, it’s late, and you humans still need your sleep.” Natsu changed topics, teasing tone forced, but Lucy once more did not broach the subject of Natsu’s tenseness. 

“Do vampires not sleep in coffins?” Lucy questioned, grinning lightly at Natsu’s loud snort and cackle. 

“Nah, that’s just some myth those damned vampire hunters spread ‘bout us. We don’t sleep, but we do need to rest.” Natsu explained as he rested an arm around Lucy’s shoulder and dragged her down to the bed. They laid on their sides, facing one another, Lucy’s over packed bag shoved to the floor without further thought. Lucy reached a hand to his cheek again, drawing her fingers along his warm and smooth skin. Laying this close Lucy could see the faint trace of freckles along his cheeks and bridge of his nose, little constellations as old as the man himself. Love swelled in her chest, suffocating her breath and making her heart ache at the overwhelming pressure of it. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words though, too fresh in reconnecting with Natsu to be sure of her feelings.

“Then rest with me tonight Natsu, and tomorrow you can take me home.”

Natsu smiled brightly, eyes squinting closed at the fullness of his grin. “Aye.”

Deja vu hit Lucy, his agreement echoing through her mind and hundreds of similar images bombarded her. She took in a quick breath through her nose trying to calm reeling mind. She felt heat and soft hair press against her forehead, Natsu leaning his against hers as he hugged her to his chest. Lucy fell asleep like that, reliving beautiful memories of a smiling Natsu as she laid in his strong embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N; Ohohoho look at this. Plot! And hints at Tragic Backstory! I have so much planned for this au, and not to mention the angst. It will all be from Lucy's perspective though, no switching like whips :p
> 
> I love to here what y'all think!


	4. iv

Lucy took in a deep breath, curling further into the warm over-blanket she had nestled into in her sleep. Odd memories filtered from her dreams, wild pink hair and captivating emerald eyes. A light smile crossed her expression as she thought back to the dream kiss, hot and desperate... Lucy really should expand her reading beyond the fantasy romance novels, lest she dream of werewolves or spirits next. She squeezed the pillow gathered in her arms, wishing for a few more moments to stay in her rest. 

That is, until she heard her pillow grunt and caught the scent of cinnamon and hickory. Lucy raised her head, peeking at the slack face of a man with gorgeously tanned skin and full lips, cheek lolling on her pillow. Natsu. 

Not a dream. 

Last night had been... real. Lucy reached out a hand, tracing his cheekbone to assure herself he was truly there. Her Natsu. She blushed at the unbidden thought, but couldn't deny the  _ rightness _ it settled into her with. 

Her eyes trailed his face, noticing a lighter colour peeking out from under Natsu's scarf. She shifted more over his chest, curiosity outweighing her shyness to touch. She was gentle as she pushed the soft fabric lower down his throat. A pale scar tip stood out against his rich skin, Lucy furrowing her brow as she crawled even further over Natsu to look at the scar. She didn't remember it, but there was also many things she had yet to remember from her previous life. 

“You're here.” Lucy looked up at Natsu's rough drawl, blushing fiercely at being caught. Natsu don't seem to mind, bare fingertips trailing through her hair before tucking a strand behind her ear. Lucy melted into his touch, lips relaxing into a smile. 

“So are you.” Lucy hummed back, smile widening at his low chuckle. 

“Aye, I am. Never thought I'd be again.” 

“But you are. And you're with me,” Lucy whispered earnestly, wanting to banish away the sadness that crept back into his gaze as he spoke. She focused on his lips, continuing shyly. “Where you're supposed to be.”

Lucy was guided back to looking at Natsu by a gentle touch of his fingers to her chin. A motion he continued as he brought her mouth to his. The kiss was soft, slow and simple as they basked in the others warmth. Lucy pulled away first, fluttering her lips along his jaw before nuzzling the top of his ear. Her arms tightened around him, weight pushing him onto his back so Lucy could lay across his chest and curl her body into his. She felt warm fingers card through her hair, and Lucy hummed in pleasure, almost allowing the soothing motion to lull her back to sleep. 

Instead though, she forced herself awake at the crackling noise beside her ear. She shifted, groaning slightly as her limbs were reawakened. Her blinked blearily as she looked out the window, sky still dark past her aged curtains. 

“How long did I rest?” Lucy murmured.  

“Only an hour or two, you can go back to sleep if you want Luce.”

Lucy sighed before pushing herself into a raised position. Natsu’s arm still weighed heavy and comfortable on her hip. “No, if we are to make the morning train I should finish gathering the essentials.” Lucy smiled down at Natsu, an unfamiliar scent making her brows furrow. She fingered at her neckline, sighing heavily as she examined the torn and dirty fabric that hung from her shoulder. Natsu's hand stilled her worrying at the dress she hadn’t found the chance to change out of. 

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Natsu pressed his forehead into the crook of her neck, pulling her back down to the mattress. 

“I'm sure I'll be able to make another one,” Lucy soothed half heartedly. If she were to be honest, she  _ was _ upset that the dress she had worked on for moons had been torn by one rough hand. Although, if the cost of bringing Natsu back into her life was simply some wasted hours and torn fabric she would gladly pay the fine. 

Pensive silence wrapped around Lucy, Natsu’s brow ruching along Lucy’s neck. She patted a hand on his head, rose hair soft under her light touch. Distracted, she ran her hand through it more firmly, consolation forgotten on her tongue.

Natsu’s purr vibrated through her chest, low and steady as she shifted to gain use of both hands in her playing. Lucy spoke as Natsu nuzzled deeper into her neck, his thick eyelashes tickling her skin. “You’re not allowed to drift back off, we have to get going if we are to catch the first train.”

Natsu’s whine was high and soft, his disapprovement for her plans shown through a tight hug and burrowing into the mattress. Lucy sighed, pushing from his warm embrace and busying herself with removing all the things she had placed in her used travel bag. She looked over her shoulder to see Natsu nestled fully in her blankets, a baleful look directed at her from the cocoon of cotton Natsu had enveloped himself in.

“Why can’t I just carry you there. It’ll only take a few weeks.” Natsu said, petulant whine muffled by the fabric covering his lower face and nose. Lucy took a moment to stare at him incredulously before placing six of the twelve books on her nightstand into the bag, debating if there were room for another two or three. She did have to leave room for her writings after all, and Michelle, and then of course her mother’s ornament box... No, she would have to hope Natsu had kept up at least a few of her libraries through the centuries. 

“Because that is absurd. The train is fine and you don’t have to run yourself sick.” Lucy retorted soundly, ending the discussion.

“The dammed train will make me sick, never mind running a bit.” Natsu grumbled. Lucy ignored his pouting as she looked through the few dresses in her cupboard. The rich green one was sturdier and more suited to travel, but the periwinkle blue had been a gift from the old wife at the bookshop. Maybe Lucy would be able to fit one or two dresses in, one never knew how long a train ride might take. Well, they might if they knew where they were meant to be going, but Lucy found that she trusted Natsu. 

She could always ask at a later time. 

She folded the blue dress neatly, placing it alongside a thin, white summer dress and several pairs of stockings. The green dress was gathered in her arms as she walked to the wash station tucked in the corner of the room. She cleared her throat, embarrassment rosing Lucy's face as she gave Natsu a pointed look. 

“I need to change,” she hinted, shifting from side to side in front of the small basin filled with cool and clean water. 

“I don't mind.” Natsu yawned, content in his bundle of over blankets. His sharp eyes traced her shoulder and the outline of her dress lazily. She sputtered under his wandering gaze, ears burning hotly. He was so  _ forward _ . 

“Well I do!” Lucy squeaked. She pouted at Natsu's low chuckle, his shoulders shaking under the sleep warmed fabric as he turned to face the other wall. 

“Happy, Weirdo?” He teased, and Lucy took the opportunity to stick her tongue at his back like a youngling. Easy silence filled the small room as Lucy stripped and pushed her dressings to the side. The air was chilling against her bare skin, only further reminding her of her undressing in the presence of another. Of Natsu. 

Her cheeks warmed again as that thought settled in her mind, anticipation racing along her spine for a reason she wasn't quite sure of. She quickly cleaned her shoulder and face with a cloth and the cold water, Natsu's deep intake of breath and a heavy noise in his throat sending coils of heat through her abdomen. 

“Finished.” Lucy said, soft voice beckoning Natsu to look back at her. She bit her lip, fingertips twisting in the skirt of her dress. She inhaled deeply, steadying herself to ask him to tighten her dress for her. The question was lost, however, when Lucy met Natsu's gaze. Hungry and predatory eyes pinned her in place, Lucy reminded of how  _ dangerous _ Natsu was by the power he held her still with. Unlike their first meeting, Lucy found herself drawn in by his wild nature, the whisper in the back of her mind reminding her that Natsu was something less -or  _ more _ \- than human. 

“Can, ah,” Lucy started, voice raspy. She cleared her throat, shy at the change in her voice. “May you help me dress?”

Lucy held her breath as seconds ticked by, Natsu frozen on the bed. The stillness was shattered when Natsu roughly threw off the covers, stalking towards her with long strides. She blinked up at him, Natsu's face hovering over hers. 

She turned slowly, offering her back to Natsu. She was fully dressed, and the act of tightening a dresses ribbons was much more innocent that loosening them, yet the way Natsu's fingers trailed along her sides before deftly tightening the corset was intimate in a way that flustered her. 

Familiar heat bled through to her skin as Natsu rested his hands in her hips, remaining close to her. “May I?” Natsu breathed, his words caressing the revealed skin of her neck. Lucy nodded weakly, unsure of what he was asking but agreeing to it fully. 

Lucy's eyes fluttered closed when dry lips ghosted along her skin. She leaned back into Natsu, humming in pleasure as he kissed her more firmly. Her hands settled over Natsu's, feeling his fingers tightening through her dress. A gasp escaped from parted lips when Natsu drew his tongue along the side of her neck, the lewd motion weakening Lucy's knees. A finger tilted her chin, Lucy allowing the soft motion to guide her face towards Natsu's. 

Lucy kissed him softly. The two stayed like that for several moments, trading gentle kisses, bodies slowly becoming tightly pressed against the other. Natsu deepened the kiss, tongue rubbing along hers at her small whimper. His hand settled on the side of her neck, heavy weight keeping her as he wanted. Lucy whimpered a second time as he stroked the column of her throat with the calloused pad of his thumb. Natsu nipped at her lower lip with a dark chuckle, movements confident as he licked at her tongue with his own, playfully guiding her into his own mouth. 

Lucy was shy as she felt a sharpened canine, tasting Natsu. 

Desire spiked in Lucy, commanding and strong. She  _ needed _ him, in ways she had only read about in her novels. Natsu’s hand tightened where he held her, as if he too could sense the change in Lucy. His kisses demanded everything from her, her breath, her focus, her mind. All things Lucy gladly gave over, in return for the fire he was stocking inside her. A low, animalistic sound resonated from his chest to her back, the possessive growl coaxing yet another moan from her. She needed to finish packing, but the train had another three hours before it was due, and the bed was so close...

“Natsu,” Lucy moaned into his mouth, the rest of her thought thrown aside when Natsu turned her in his arms, rushing her to the wall. He caged her with one hand still firmly on the side of her neck, fingertips tangling in the sensitive hairs at the base of her scalp, his other reaching between Lucy and the wall. 

Lucy drew in a quick breath in surprise, eyes flying open as Natsu squeezed her behind sharply. Natsu made the possessive sound again, body crowding hers as he slipped a thigh between her legs, hand massaging the full curve he groped at lewdly. 

Panting heavily, Lucy drew back from the kiss, hands fisted in his cape. Natsu trailed wet kisses along her jaw instead, finally pausing as he hovered over where he had bit her last night. She waited for his teeth to sink into her, releasing a shaky breath she had not been aware of holding when he instead pulled back. 

“Sorry.” Natsu mumbled, voice thick and raspy like he had inhaled smoke. 

“There is nothing to apologize for.” Lucy whispered back, gently brushing his lips with her kiss swollen ones before looking up at him. 

His hand dragged along her back, settling cautiously on the bow of her spine. “I don't want to rush you, Luce. I know this is all, all  _ new _ to you again.”

Lucy held his face in her hands, thumbs stroking his warm skin. “I know Natsu. My memories will come back, now that are souls are together again, and I trust you to help me along.” 

Natsu was silent as he looked over her face, pain echoing behind the vibrant green in his eyes. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again.” 

Lucy smiled softly at his hushed words, a sad and heavy feeling in her chest telling her that he had not meant to speak aloud. She leaned into his hand as he tucked a stray wisp of golden hair behind her ear.

She pushed away from the wall and Natsu, clapping her hands together softly as she tried to refocus her thoughts. “Now, I have to finish packing if we are to make the train!”

Natsu groaned loudly, and Lucy allowed a full smile to pull at her lips as she tucked the ruined dress alongside the blue one in her bag. She couldn’t wait to write to her mother, sitting on a train and traveling to unknown destinations with the man she loved so dearly. 

“I don’t  _ wanna _ ~”

Even if he sulked and complained like a child. 


	5. v

Lucy stood on the train platform, watching with excited anxiety as the cab grew closer and closer, a stark red against the pale orange and blue sky of dawn. She felt as if butterflies had filled her stomach, filled with the desire to run and fly at the same time. It still didn’t feel real, and Lucy worried that it all might fade away like morning dew under the sun. 

“All I’m saying is that we could walk. I can carry you. It’ll be fine Luce, honest.”

Lucy looked over to where Natsu stood several feet back, eyes narrowed dangerously on the approaching train and never looking away, as if he could force it back through sheer will power. 

“It will only be a few days by train and a few  _ weeks _ by foot,” Lucy sighed, yet again. They had been having this conversation repeatedly since Lucy had packed, and it was starting to spark her ire. 

“I’m going to die Lucy.” Natsu whined, stepping forward as he slung her canvas bag over his shoulder. Lucy held her own suitcase with both hands on the strap in front of her, turning back to watch the train and ignore Natsu’s dramatic claims. 

“Then it is a good thing you are immortal.” 

She felt more than heard Natsu pout, his heavy exhale warm on her exposed neck from where he had come stand behind her. Lucy smiled at his strong presence, even if she was well aware that he was using her as a shield between himself and the train. Lucy’s breath caught at the loud sound of air rushing past them and metal grinding on metal, the train much larger than she had thought it would be as it had come into the station. It finally came to a creaking halt, shuddering violently as it stopped in front of them. Lucy looked over her shoulder in excitement, large smiling lifting her lips. She had never been on a train before, all of Jude’s business associates coming into Magnolia to meet with him. Natsu, however, was far less eager to board the train, pale and tight lipped as he watched the carriage doors in front of them open. 

“Why can’t we walk again?” Natsu asked desperately.  Lucy rolled her eyes, taking Natsu’s hand and leading him to the door. A few night travellers stepped off, bleary eyed and uncaring of Natsu’s unusual coloured hair. Lucy supposed it was for the best, as it would save them from answering unwanted questions, even if the lack of concern struck her as odd. 

“Come on, Natsu!” Lucy sang happily, climbing the few stairs from the platform to the open doors, heels clicking on the grated metal. She paused when she stepped inside, taking in bright furnishings. Pale reds and golds adorned the seating and window covering, black carpet stark if not for the layer of dirt subduing it to grey. Lucy picked an unused table close to the where their carriage connected to the next, dragging Natsu by their interlocked hands to the booth and table. 

She tucked her bags into the storage compartment above them, looking down to speak to Natsu when she paused. He had already curled himself into a ball, tucked tightly against the red fabric covered seat and the panelled wall beside the window, his black cape covering him like a blanket. 

“Natsu?” Lucy called, worry sinking heavy in her stomach. Trains couldn't actually kill vampires, that was ludicrous. Of course, if they went over running water,  _ that  _ could be true. Natsu would have told her explicitly though, if something like this would take him from her. 

“Merh,” Natsu mumbled, cracking one eye open to look at her sullenly. She sat gently beside him, sinking into the aged cushion and dipping closer to Natsu. Lucy squeaked when he fell towards her without warning, his head placed firmly on her lap and face turned towards her body. Lucy hovered her hands in the air over his body as Natsu squirmed, situating himself so he was laying on the majority of the bench with Lucy close to the walking row. 

“Natsu, this is my first train ride, and while I understand you are tired I would like to see some of the countryside,” Lucy lectured, crossing her arms. Natsu's squint turned to a glower as he looked at Lucy again, sighing loudly and pointedly as he began to move once more. Lucy squeaked indignantly when Natsu dragged her along the bench and to where he had been sitting before, resuming a mirror position of lying on her lap. Lucy could now easily see out the window, and Natsu had claimed her thighs as a pillow once more. 

With a sigh Lucy carded her hands through his hair, smiling down at him. He had tucked his face against her dress so she could only see his pink spikes, but she supposed sunlight would be irritating. Even she found it bothersome at times, and she no longer had the heightened sensitivity to sounds and brightness that came with being a creature of the night. 

She jerked when the train started, choppy motions shaking her slightly as the vehicle left the station. 

Lucy looked down at Natsu excitedly, smile falling when she noticed the tenseness Natsu held in his body, curling tighter against her. 

“Natsu?” Lucy asked, gently brushing aside his bangs so she could see his forehead. His skin was much paler than before, as if all life had been drained from it, true to the stories Lucy had grown with. 

“Don't like trains.” Natsu moaned, voice weak and nasal. He sounded as if he might be sick in her lap, and Lucy felt helpless as Natsu stifled a whimper. He looked up at her, eyes pinched and sweat gathering along his hairline. He forced a small smile, pressing his head into where Lucy had left her hand in his hair as he spoke. “I'll be better when I pass out. I could use the four day nap anyway,” Natsu tried to reassure Lucy, all bravado dropping when the train jolted suddenly, nausea clear in his eyes as they dropped tiredly. 

“Okay,” Lucy agreed, unsure what else to say. They had already bought the train tickets with part of Lucy's savings and it would save them weeks of travel, but she also hated seeing Natsu like this. 

Her concern shifted from her vampire to her dress when Natsu gagged loudly, dropping back to her lap and burying his face in her dress. “If you throw up on me you'll be riding on the roof.” Lucy hissed, gentle still as she stroked his head in soothing pets. Natsu whined in complaint, but made no motion to move. Lucy sighed, smiling at the attendant who checked their tickets. He seemed less impressed with Natsu than Lucy was, sniffing his greying moustache as he continued on, eyeing Natsu warily as if he might be sick any moment. 

Lucy sang under her breath, a soft tune coming to her naturally although she couldn't remember from where. Natsu relaxed under her hand, Lucy realizing he had indeed fallen asleep in mere minutes. Her attention turned to the world passing outside the window, pale yellow of farmland broken by thatches of trees for brief seconds. I'm the distance rolling hills gave to snow-capped mountains, hazy with the large distance made seem smaller by the plains before them. 

Lucy was glad the train station had been on the edge of Magnolia, allowing her to turn away from the town without being forced to ride once more through the familiar streets and shops. While she had been lonely there for years, it had been home. Now, her home laid curled on her lap, light snores and pained groans accompanying the muted sounds of the train wheels riding on their tracks. 

Lucy laid her head back against the cushion, getting comfortable for the long journey ahead. Maybe she would follow Natsu's suit and rest for a bit. 

* * *

_ Dear Mother, _

_ I have so much I wish to tell you. Things that would sound fantasitical even in our readings, or in my sleep. Apparently I have lived before, centuries ago, as a vampyre! I suppose you were right when you would call me an old soul, Mother, but I doubt even you could have guessed how right you were.  _

_ And Mother, I met a boy. Well, I suppose he would prefer man, but his appearance couldn't have been older than that of a boy approaching his twenties. His name is Natsu, and I know you would love him almost as much as I do, Mother.  _

_ He is kind and funny, with the most peculiar hair colour. It is as pink as the flowers from our clearing, where we would watch the stars together when I was mad at Father. He is taking me to where we used to live, an old castle on the border of Fiore and Bosco. He was my husband, Mother, and has been searching for me since I died. I fear it had been violent, for Natsu has still not recovered after four hundred years.  _

_ I hope he had not been alone all that time.  _

Lucy paused her writing, looking down at Natsu as she thought. She couldn't imagine having lived that long, holding memories of her life with Natsu but never knowing if she would see him again. She felt hot wetness trail down her cheeks, wiping away the tears as quickly as she noticed them. Natsu would hate for her to cry, and over him no less. She trailed a hand through his wild hair, taking in the softness of it as she played with his hair. He looked calm in his sleep, or rest as he had called it. 

All the age he carried around his eyes and mouth washed away, a faint tickle in the back of her mind telling her that  _ this  _ was her Natsu. His skin was still pale with sickness, but it seemed Lucy had helped ease him as he was no longer tinged green. Lucy could barely connect in her mind that this was the same man who she had feared would be her death mere hours ago. 

For the first time since their meeting, Lucy allowed herself to think about their meeting. 

_ Mother _ , she started to write again,  _ I don't think you would have cared for how we met, in this life at least. The boy in my lap is not the one who stalked me in the forest, and yet they are the same. My neck no longer hurts but I can still feel where his lips had been on my skin. I can not stop touching it, though when Natsu had caught me before he seemed so very sad.  _

_ But if I were to truly think of that moment, it would be the mention of your name that most confuses me. Had you met Natsu before, Mother? He grew enraged when I said your name, as if it meant something very special to him.  _

_ I fear there is far too much I have yet to remember, but at least I am by his side once more.  _

_ As always, I love you.  _

_ Lucy.  _

Lucy set down her quill beside the parchment she had been writing on, rolling her wrist to alleviate some of the ache. It was almost sundown, and carts were rolling by with after supper dainties. Lucy smiled at the cart girl as she passed, the younger girl smiling brightly in return. 

She let the smile slip from her face as she looked down at Natsu. Why had he reacted so violently to the name Layla? He hadn't appeared to know her personally, but to have such a strong response to the name...

“What has life put you through?” Lucy whispered, tucking a stray spike of hair behind his ear. 

“Hell.” 

Lucy started at Natsu's gruff voice. She relaxed, trailing her fingers along the side of his face. He kept his eyes closed, but his tense jaw let her know she had not imagined his voice. “How do you feel?” Lucy asked, laying the back of her hand across his forehead to try and gauge his temperature. She huffed as she pulled it away, Natsu's skin near burning but that had been his temperature since she had met him. Maybe it was a vampiric side effect. 

“Hell.” Natsu repeated, nose crinkling as they ran over a large bump on the track. 

“Tell me what you were dreaming of. Maybe it will help.” Lucy said. Natsu snorted, lips twitching up before they twisted down with another jar of their carriage. 

“Vampires don't dream, weirdo.” Natsu breathed. He whined and pouted when Lucy flicked his forehead, unimpressed by his dry response. His lashes sat full on the swell of his cheeks, and Lucy gently ran her thumb over his eyelid before resting her hand in his hair in truce. Silence fell over them, Lucy waiting patiently for Natsu to gather his thoughts or his strength. 

“I was thinking about when we first bought the castle we’re going to.” Natsu said softly, piquing Lucy's interest. “It was the second property we had bought together, and you were so excited. Kept talking about rugs and colours and building a library.” Natsu smiled as he spoke, one of his hands snaking up to squeeze her thigh gently. Lucy blushed at the forwardness, mentally berating herself for being so proper considering he was using her as a pillow currently. 

“You were so cute, screaming and running away from the rats that lived in the castle when you tried to clean it out.” Natsu snickered, and Lucy sniffed at his mocking. 

“Rats carry  _ diseases _ ,” Lucy defended, gently poking his neck. Natsu squawked, head jolting as his neck pinched at her touch. 

“Vampires don't get  _ diseases _ ,” Natsu replied in the same tone Lucy had used. 

“Well...” Lucy said, brows knitting as she failed to find a retort. Natsu snickered again, obviously pleased that he had won. His large grin fell though, and Lucy felt concern well in her chest when he squeezed her thigh firmly. 

“I missed this.” Natsu said. “I missed  _ you _ so much Lucy.”

“I've missed you too Natsu. For the first time in my life I feel like a weight has been lifted from my soul, like I am no longer waiting for someone to come home to me. I could never place it before, but now I know. It was you. I have been missing you since the day I was born.”

Lucy lifted his hand from her lap, pressing her lips over his knuckles. Natsu opened his eyes, slightly unfocused as he watched Lucy. 

“I love you.”

Lucy smiled at him, cupping his hand against her face, the side of his index finger stroking her cheekbone tenderly. “I love you too.” She whispered. 

“Now close your eyes and rest. We have a long while to go before we're home.” Lucy coaxed gently. Natsu grinned as he closed his eyes, intertwining his hand with Lucy's as he brought it back down beside his head. 

“I'm already home.”


	6. vi

Lucy blinked, trying to clear her mind. It was obvious she had spent too long on the train and had gone stir crazy. Who knew a week and a half of constant travel could be enough to break a mind.

“C’mon Luce! I haven’t see Jally since he was a colt!”

“And I have never ridden a horse!” Lucy defended. She eyed the large stallion warily, hair and mane black as the night sky above them.

“You broke his great great great whatever grandma,” Natsu explained, happily petting the side of Jally’s neck.

“Well Sun Star was kind and gentle and not three feet my superior.” She sniffed. Really, as though Natsu would compare her mare to his beast. Lucy cocked her head when she noticed Natsu’s stare, a wistful joy shining in his emerald gaze. “Natsu?” Lucy questioned, stepping towards him and placing one hand on his chest. Lucy blinked when Natsu took her hand, lifting it to his mouth where he ran his lips over the backs of her fingers.

“Knew you’d remember her.” he said, voice low with emotion. Lucy took in a sharp intake of breath, becoming aware of the importance of her memory.  

“I _have_ ridden a horse,” she mumbled, head spinning at the onslaught of memories she was able to pull from.

“Bunch’a ‘em.” Natsu whispered back. Lucy squealed loudly when she was suddenly lifted, deposited on the horse and covering blanket as if she were a child by Natsu’s strong arms. “Now we gotta go! I can’t wait to show you the castle again, Luce.” Natsu said easily, deftly lifting himself onto the horse in front of Lucy, his hands fisted in the horse’s mane.

“Natsu!” Lucy hissed, struggling to lift her leg and dress to put it in it’s proper place beside her other one. “I can not ride like this! It’s, it’s improper!” She face felt as vibrant as his hair, and her eyes grew large as she saw an excuse to not be caught in such a compromising manner. “My luggage! We cannot just leave it here.”

Lucy all but pouted at Natsu’s bawdy laugh, his hand resting comfortingly on her knee. One of her _spread_ knees. Shame crept along her spine at the lewd position, to be a lady and have your legs spread this wide… “Don’t worry Luce, it’ll be taken care of. And stop fidgeting, you’re freaking out Jally.”

“Natsu,” Lucy whined, burrowing her face between his shoulder blades and into his dark cape. “I can’t ride like this.” She fisted at the fabric, desperately attempting to close her legs despite the body of the horse between them.

“Why not?” he questioned, finally looking over his shoulder as he urged Jally into a light trot. Lucy gasped and clung to Natsu’s back at the movement, blushing deeply at the movement between her thighs.

 _“Because it is unlady like to spread my legs.”_ Lucy said sharply, eyes squeezed tight as spoke. Natsu chuckled, his light shakes transferring to Lucy through where she held onto him.

“You’re so weird,” Natsu teased, pulling her arms around so her hands splayed flat on his chest. “Hold on.”

Lucy wasn’t able to ask what Natsu meant before Jally took off, wind whipping around Lucy as the horse was spurred to his full speed through the forest path. In her anger at Natsu she forgot about the impropriety of her situation, and after several moments realised she felt far more comfortable than she had expected to. The time passed in a blur, Lucy allowing her mind to wander in the fog of Natsu’s warmth and the scent of the forest. She gave up trying to focus her eyes on the scenery around them, mind aching as her body struggled to act in ways it was no longer able to. The feeling of weakness stayed eclipsed by a dull sense of loss, that emotion too dwarfed when she centered herself on the feeling of Natsu in her arms, his chest expanding with each breath, securing to her that he was here and real, reminding her of all she had to regain rather than what she had lost.

After what felt like an hour -but could have been merely half or several more- Natsu slowed Jally to a quick jog, winding through dense bush and twisted roots, stars completely hidden by the canopy of leaves above them. It all remained unfamiliar to her, despite her efforts to spark any lingering memories of the path. She sighed sadly, startled when Natsu comfortingly squeezed her hand. Embarrassment made her stiffen against him. She hadn’t meant for him to hear her failure.

“You’re thinking too hard, Lucy.” Natsu murmured, voice low and soothing as if he were talking to one of the nervous foals Lucy used to attend to. “Don’t force yourself.”

Lucy nodded in a greement, cheek rubbing along his spine where she had placed it some time before. The two remained quiet as more time passed, Capricorn high in the sky by the time they emerged into a clearing and the stars became visible again. Lucy basked in their gentle caress, studying the back of Natsu’s head, wild hair paled in the light of the crescent moon. She reached for him, running curious fingers through the fluffed locks, vibrant rose coloring stolen and replaced by a softer and more dreamlike shade in the witching hours. With a low sound Natsu leaned into her hand, Jally slowing at Natsu’s distraction. The loss of speed unimportant anyway, the castle by the side of a great lake appearing as the crossed the hill of the meadow.

Lucy’s breath was stolen as she took in the sight before her. The outerwall stood several stories tall, the keep two more and equal with the tower on the North Eastern corner. The dark grey colour stood out against the moonlight reflected from the still waters of the lake, courtyard unable to be seen from their current angle. It looked as if it had been built centuries ago, and abandoned for the majority of that time. While not in disrepair, ivy crawled along obviously along the stone facade and a sense of loss and lack of life radiated from the cold stone. Lucy realized it was due to the darkness that shone from the many windows, and the eerie silence that surrounded the building, animals asleep as they were. Or perhaps they knew better than to live so close to a predator such as a vampire.

“I haven’t been here in years.” Natsu whistled lowly, leading Jally along the almost covered path to the gate. “This was the last property we bought before…” Natsu trailed off, having seemed to forgotten the circumstances of their journey. Lucy hugged him tightly, lifting her head to gently brush her lips along the side of his jaw, neck covered by his scarf and cloak as it was. The tension bled from his shoulders at her touch, breathing resuming a deeper pattern rather than the tight inhales the memory had brought him. “Do ya remember how we got this one?” Natsu asked, changing the topic slightly. Lucy shook her head, resting her temple on his shoulder blade and watching the castle to their right as they followed the path Lucy couldn’t see.

“The deed had been meant to go to the Duke’s brother, ‘cus he had no wife or children, but the sister insisted that she was in the right. Well, I don’t know if you’ll remember her, but Kalie had been a friend to us a decade or two before when we needed a place to crash after pissing off that king in Iceberg, ‘course it wasn’t called Iceberg then, I think it had been called Ic’ballum at the time, but it don’t matter. But you’d managed to trick the brother into admitting that he’d killed his brother to gain his estate through a pretty dress and well timed glass of drugged wine. The castle and land went to Kalie, who left it to us when she died. So now we have a castle in Bosco.”

Lucy nodded along with the story, blushing brightly at Natsu’s offhanded mention of her seduction of a stranger. While Lucy knew her body gained her advantages with the men around her -and she had been in no means shy about using that advantage in the past- to be so bold about it seemed inconceivable to her. And that was disregarding how Natsu had felt about the situation…

“It sounds as if we had quite the wild adventures,” Lucy hummed thoughtfully.

Natsu nodded as they finally crossed the gate threshold. “We did.”

They slipped back into comfortable silence, the sound of Jally’s hooves on the stone beneath them filling the night air in the open courtyard. A large fountain with all sorts of stone animals Lucy couldn’t fathom to name stood three quarters of the way into the courtyard, water still as it sat collected in the basins and thin tendrils of greenery and moss outlining the features of the stone faces. The courtyard stretched a fifty yards deep and half that across with great trees scattered along the border, giving dark shadows a place to hide under the pastel blooms of the late Spring flowers, covered walkways half hidden behind the thick trunks of aged bark. It was beautiful, in the way that forgotten places tended to be. History left untapped and ghosts given reign of the grounds where life had once been.

Lucy accepted Natsu’s hand as they dismounted the stallion, finally stopped in front of the stairs that led to the large front doors. With a gentle swat Natsu sent Jally on his way, the black horse disappearing into the darkness shrouding the edges of the castle grounds as he found his way to the stables on his own.

“Welcome home, Luce.” Natsu said softly, grinning down at her tentatively. Lucy returned his smile brightly, tangling their fingers together as they stood facing one another.

“I have been home since I found you,” she replied, heart leaping at his melted look of adoration. A look that turned to an impish glee when Lucy’s legs faltered with her first step.

“You okay there, Weirdo?” Natsu asked, light tone mocking. Lucy frowned at him, cheeks puffed childishly.

“My body has never ridden a horse in this life,” she huffed, reluctantly taking the arm that Natsu offered too eagerly to be genuine. “I am sure I will be fine.” She took another step, thighs aching from the time riding. “I believe.”

“I can always kiss it better,” Natsu offered easily, grinning at Lucy’s bright blush. 

She ignored his crude question, retort stolen as she peered into the dark entrance hall. Natsu left her side for a second with an apologetic look, producing a pack of matches a hidden pocket, placing a lit one in a bowl seated on a short column to the right of the grand double oak doors. Lucy gaped as fire roared to life in the porcelain bowl, racing along a thin path around the railing of the second floor from where it climbed one side of railing of the center staircase, the glass chandelier soon lighting brightly as the oil burned smokeless in the great rings that carried before the hundreds of candles. Lucy blinked at Natsu, who looked around the now lit room proudly.

She took his offered arm again when he returned to beside her, leading her up the red and gold carpeted stairs  after they crossed entrance hall. Lucy found that she couldn’t tear her eyes from the portrait that hung in the center of the first landing of the stairs before they split to the left and right.

An image of Lucy sat in a plush red velvet chaise, intelligent eyes sparkling with a secret joy as she stared back at herself, Natsu resting one hand possessively on her shoulder, but fingers easy and relaxed as they brushed her skin. A look that was portrayed on his bright grin, tan skin unblemished and with a healthy glow. She paused when she caught sight of his uncovered neck, no pale scar stretching across the skin as it did now.


	7. vii

Lucy wandered around his- no, _their_ \- room, running her fingertips along the dark wooden shelves that displayed all of the trinkets Natsu had collected over the years. Dried flowers, worn tickets, some rubble, and a few sketches just some of the things that Lucy could identify. Some of the mementos brought back a tug in her mind, and Lucy could tell where a certain item came from without looking at the neatly written note beneath it. A rueful smile tugged at her lips as she carefully brushed a finger over a piece of sheer pink fabric. If she recalled correctly this was from their time in Joya, when they had visited the king whose name she could not recall. One of his sons had seen Lucy he had tried to take her as part of his harem, and Natsu had promptly freed all of their slaves in retaliation, dragging Lucy from the revolting palace cackling the whole way.

It was strange, these memories. They didn’t normally flood into her brain all at once like she would expect, but rather it was like walking down the street and remembering you needed milk. It was suddenly just _there_ , and Lucy had to take a moment to remember that she hadn’t always known it. She wondered if it would ever stop, or if she’d be slowly remembering her previous life in small increments for the rest of eternity. She chuckled quietly at her own assumption, that she’d be with Natsu for the rest of eternity, without even a hint of hesitation. The two hadn’t talked about it, but Lucy had already decided. She was never going to leave Natsu again.

Her thoughts now focused on Natsu, Lucy became aware of his stare burning into her back. His sharp eyes followed her as she explored the organized chaos, and Lucy felt her pulse speed up at feeling. His possessiveness made a curl of low heat burn in Lucy’s abdomen, and the safety she felt in his presence something she didn’t know she’d been missing. There was a lot Lucy hadn’t known she’d been missing. Clearing her throat Lucy spoke teasingly, looking over her shoulder to see his reaction.

“I understand that I am amazing to look at, but you don’t need to watch me from afar. I’ve been told I’m even more beautiful up close.” Lucy had tried to use a semi-serious tone as she spoke, but Natsu’s responding snort and fit of laughter told her he had seen through it. Footsteps rang across the stone floor and then Natsu’s arms were snaking around her waist and pulling her tightly against his chest.

“Oh?” Natsu asked, nuzzling into the skin behind her ear. His deep rumble traveled through Lucy’s skin and sent pleasant shivers through her body as he spoke against her quickly heating flesh. “And who would have fed your ego like that?” Natsu questioned, soft lips never leaving her skin. Lucy hummed as she brought her index finger to her lips, pretending to think.

“I seem to recall my pink haired husband mentioning it a few times.” Lucy said softly, her light tone fading as she spoke. Natsu’s face also stilled, remaining buried in her hair and neck.

“Sounds like a smart man,” was his reply, voice deepening and arms tightening. Lucy rested a hand on his forearm and turned in his grip so that she could now face him. She trailed her fingers down the side of his face, gently as if he might shatter if she wasn’t careful.

“Smart may be too strong a word,” she teased, laughing at Natsu’s pout as he looked down at her. “But he is everything I could ever hope for, and more,” Lucy finished, a warm smile still pulling at her lips as she looked up at him. Natsu’s eyes widened briefly before becoming hooded, that broken happiness returning to his emerald gaze. Lucy brought her other hand up to cup his face as well and stared into his eyes for a few seconds, trying to tell him that she wasn’t going anywhere. Natsu gave a short nod in understanding as he pulled her close once more so that their bodies were flush against one another, Lucy’s hands dropping to his shoulders. His bare hands sent trails of flames through Lucy’s back, the thin dress doing nothing to dilute his heat. Natsu’s gaze lingered on her neck, and Lucy looked up at him as she waited for him to speak.

“Lucy,” Natsu started nervously, wetting his lips as his eyes continually flickered between her own brown ones and her neck. “Can I… May I bite you, again?”

Lucy gaped at him in mock surprise. “So you do know how to act towards a lady,” she stated, giggling as Natsu rolled his eyes in exasperation, though a small smile revealed one of his pointed canines. Lucy thought back to when he had first bit her, almost ten days ago now. It seemed like years to Lucy, so much had happened. He had seemed desperate when he had latched onto her, now that Lucy was able to really think about it, and he had taken more blood than he would have needed to just tell if it was her. Realization dawned over Lucy and she narrowed her eyes up at Natsu, who at least had the decency to shrink a little under her stern gaze. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Luce, I really don’t thi-” Natsu said, avoiding her question before Lucy cut him off with a firm tone.

“Natsu.”

Natsu finally turned his face away, studying the window to his left as he spoke.

“Human? Three hundred years ago,” his voice was bitter, but his face was pinched slightly and a humorless smile blanketed his face. Lucy could tell from the tenseness in his arms that he expected her to pull away in horror that he had drank human blood at all, but instead Lucy stayed close in his embrace. She could tell that even now it still haunted Natsu whatever he had done, and she would be here to support him if he ever found it in himself to tell her. Natsu raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her, his face softening into a less pained expression, though still somewhat subdued. “But that’s not what you meant, is it?” Lucy shook her head from side to side, holding his gaze.

Natsu unwound one arm from around her and scrubbed at his face in thought, sighing heavily. Finally placing his arm back around her Natsu smiled down at her again, the light still missing from his eyes as he spoke. “A month ago, maybe two?” His tone went up at the end, as though he was asking Lucy rather than answering her question. Lucy for her part glared up at Natsu and pinched his cheek with her right hand. He winced under her assault, though she thought it more from her angry stare than any pain she caused him.

“Natsu Dragneel you are supposed to eat at _least_ once a week!” Lucy berated, feeling a scowl make its way onto her face. He needed to start taking better care of himself. Lucy pouted up at him as Natsu looked down at her fondly, obviously not taking her lecture to heart. Instead he bent slightly and hooked his hands around the back of her thighs, lifting Lucy into the air. Lucy automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding onto him as he walked towards their bed. She clung to him as he kneeled over the bed, burying her face into his neck as he shifted so that Lucy now sat snugly in his lap.

Lucy sighed breathily as she felt his fingers trace patterns into her neck in question, and Lucy bared the side of her throat to him in response. Lucy examined the elaborate tapestry showing a large red dragon sitting on it’s hoard of treasure as she rested her chin on Natsu’s shoulder, waiting for him to feed. Hot breath fanned over her skin as Natsu lowered his mouth, and Lucy’s exhale hitched in her throat as she felt his sharp teeth scrape her sensitive skin. His tongue slowly dragged along her heated flesh and Lucy squirmed as she felt an oddly familiar -and yet still foreign- ache form between her legs. Natsu chuckled silently, his upper body shaking as he continued to tease the skin of her neck. A hand tightening on her waist and the feeling of Natsu opening his mouth wider were all the warnings Lucy received before his teeth sunk into her delicate skin.

Lucy had half expected pain again, but instead a low moan flowed from her as pleasure tore through her body. Natsu’s mouth was suckling the puncture and Lucy buried one hand in his hair, the other clawing at his shoulder. Lucy’s breaths came in pants as Natsu continued to drink her blood, his hand moving from her waist to squeeze at the flesh of her upper thigh. His other hand was pressed flat against her back and held her flush against his chest, the solid pressure on Lucy’s breasts making her mind blank. With a firm tug on her handful of pink hair Lucy dislodged Natsu from her neck, quickly covering his still open mouth her with own. Lucy let her instincts take over as she moved to straddle his lap, her tongue playing with his easily between their mouths. The coppery taste mixed well with his natural spice, or maybe Lucy was tasting cinnamon as well. However the combination of flavours were formed, Lucy couldn’t help but find the taste erotic as she swiped her tongue over his teeth, releasing a low moan when he gave her a rough suck.

Natsu’s hands had wandered south and were gripping at her backside, moving her against his pelvis. Lucy could feel something firm starting to press into her inner thigh, and a fresh wave of desire flooded her. She needed _more_. Pulling her mouth away from Natsu’s Lucy peppered wet, open mouthed kisses trailing the side of his mouth and along his jaw. After giving a rather rough nibble to his ear Lucy dragged her teeth along his throat, power surging through her when he tipped his head back and allowed her to fully take over.

Lucy felt his pulse just below his skin, the hot flesh well worked by her mouth and tongue. Natsu was now moaning and had twisted one of his hands into her loose golden hair, tugging almost desperately at her scalp. Lucy’s mind was overtaken by the taste of his skin and the feeling of his large hands tugging her hair or dragging the material of her dress up and gripping her ass. Natsu growled her name and ground into her core, tightening his grip on her as she sighed against his neck. Dragging her tongue along the column of his throat Lucy closed her eyes and yanked on Natsu’s hair, exposing his throat to her even more. Her teeth met with hot skin and Lucy furrowed her brow as her teeth refused to pierce his flesh easily. Lucy pulled back in confusion and ran her tongue along her teeth, face bunching as she felt the dull ridges scrape the muscle. Natsu released a soft whine as she remained pulled back, tipping his head to the side and watching her with lust hazed eyes. He watched as Lucy continued to run her tongue along her teeth, a large grin growing on his face the longer they sat in silence. Natsu relaxed his grip on her hair but kept his hand within the silky tresses, his other hand running softly up and down her thigh.

“Whatcha doin’ Luce?” Natsu asked finally, twirling a strand of golden hair in his fingers. “Ya look like a real weirdo,” Lucy narrowed her eyes at him, running her tongue along her teeth one final time before speaking.

“Natsu,” Lucy started cautiously, “Why don’t I have fangs?”

The goofy grin that had stretched across his angular face disappeared instantly and Lucy cocked her head, suddenly worried by his change in facial expression. The warm and loving look he had been giving her earlier had been replaced by a forlorn and distant gaze, Natsu lifting his hand from her thigh to brush her cheek tentatively. Lucy felt her tears prick her eyes as Natsu continued to look at her, or _through_ her, and she brought her hand up to cup his. She felt as though she could _see_ his heartbreak in his eyes.

“Natsu?” Lucy questioned, voice barely above a breath.

“You’re still human, Lucy,” Natsu spoke softly, green eyes darkened and glazed while Lucy’s own widened. That didn’t make any sense, she had been the one who turned _Natsu_ , how could she be human? She opened her mouth to speak her questions when she remembered. The days before, Natsu finding her again. She had died and been reborn.

She was human.

It was wrong. It was all wrong. She didn’t remember dying, and her past eighteen years blended with the roughly four hundred years she had lived before. Lucy brought her hands up to her head as a sharp pain stabbed her behind the eyes. Leaning forward until her forehead rested on Natsu’s chest Lucy whimpered as another wave of pain lanced through her skull. Warm arms wrapped around her securely, and small sounds of comfort tumbled from Natsu’s mouth. Lucy was distantly aware of the sound of small sobs, barely recognizing her own voice as the source or the broken sound. It was this room, being with Natsu like this. It was all too familiar, it made her feel like she had never left him. All her old memories taking over the ones of this life.

Lucy pushed away from his body once the throb in her head had turned into a dull hum, Natsu’s arms reluctantly releasing her.

“Can, can we go to the library?” Lucy asked while looking at the bed sheets to their right. She heard Natsu release a shaky breath, and looked up to see something that Lucy could only describe as relief coat his face. Lucy climbed off his lap and faced the door, rubbing at a dull ache in her left wrist. The sound of fabric shifting behind her alerted her to Natsu’s standing. A hollowness had started to spread through her chest, taking with it all the warmth that had built up when she had been in Natsu’s arms.

Why had he looked so relieved when she had climbed off of him? Perhaps the memories were affecting him too. Or maybe Lucy wasn’t who he remembered she was. How could she ever hope to live up to her past self, who she was in his mind. What if what she was now wasn’t enough? Could she blame Natsu for being disappointed, really? This wasn’t fair to him, building up his hope. It wasn’t fair to Lucy either, but Natsu had suffered lifetimes more pain than she had. A soft call of her name and tentative hand on her back returned Lucy from her mental wanderings, and she took in a deep breath. She should tell him now. Before he got too connected, before things became too tangled to ever unwind.

She looked up at him over her left shoulder and the raw concern in his deep emerald eyes broke her. Tears spilt unbidden and she tugged her lower lip in between her teeth. Panic bloomed across Natsu’s face and he gently turned her body towards his, speaking in a frantic hush as his warm hands rubbed up and down Lucy’s shaking upper arms.

“Luce, Luce what’s wrong?” Natsu questioned. “Does your head hurt again, do you need to lie down?” Lucy shook her head at his questions, her own thoughts still swirling in her head. She opened her mouth but no words would come. She closed her eyes and sealed her lips as she rested her forehead against his chest, trying to pull herself back together. Natsu’s whispers were becoming increasingly more pained, fear lancing each breath between his words. Lucy shook her head against the fabric of his shirt, she needed to talk to him, things were only getting worse the more she kept silent.

“When, when I moved away from you, just now, you…” Lucy took in another breath, fisting at the cotton fabric that covered Natsu’s chest. “Why did you look relieved, Natsu? Why did you seem almost ha-happy?” Her voice broke on the last word, and she let herself fall fully against Natsu as his arms wound solidly around her, crushing her into his body.

“What do you mean Luce? Lucy please, you’re not making sense!” Natsu begged. He ran a hand through her hair, trying to soothe her as another shudder traveled her spine. “Lucy?” Natsu pleaded, voice raspy with unshed tears.

“Were you not happy when I asked to go somewhere else? If this, if this is too much Natsu, or if I’m… I-if I’m not as you remember me I understand. If I’m less than your memories I’ll leave you b-” Lucy gasped out through a closing throat. Tears stung her eyes and she found it difficult to imagine leaving, bile tasting in the back of her mouth at the thought of being without him. It seemed Natsu felt the same way as he gripped her shoulders harshly and pulled her back to gape at her. He shook his head slowly from side to side, eyes wild with fear as Lucy spoke of releasing him.

“How could you even _think_ I could be without you again Lucy? Do you really think I’d survive losing you after just finding you? Hell, I’d lose my mind if I lost you again, ever. No, no, _no_ Luce. I’m never letting you leave my side.” He whimpered, tears spilling down his cheeks and pooling in his scarf. Lucy brought her hands off of his chest and rested them gently over his, guiding them up to cup her cheeks. She relished in their burning heat against her skin, the rough pads of his fingertips skimming over flush cheeks. “If I looked at all happy it was because you said ‘we’. Because even in pain and turmoil you still wanted me by your side.” Natsu breathed, eyes searching her face for understanding. Fresh tears pooled in the corner of her eyes, though not from sadness now. Without warning she lunged at Natsu, capturing his parted lips with her own. He gasped in surprise at her unexpected action before sinking into her, arms winding tightly around her waist once more, Lucy’s wrapping around his neck and pulling him closer.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered between kisses, over and over again. She wasn’t even sure what she was sorry for anymore, for her lack of memories, her uncertainty, dying. All she knew was that Natsu, _her_ Natsu, deserved so much better. So much more happiness than he had experienced in his years.

The two stayed in their embrace, light kisses exchanged after gentle pauses, both drinking in the taste of the other. Lucy nuzzled under Natsu’s chin, a slight giggle erupting from her chest when Natsu picked her up, strong arm cradling her back and knees as if she were a fresh bride, crossing the threshold to their new life. It was like that that Natsu carried her to the library. Long hallways and twisting corridors teased at her memory, large paintings and heavily embroidered tapestries decorating the cold grey of the stone walls.

“I can walk myself.” Lucy chastised lightly, making no effort to leave Natsu’s embrace as his strides carried her past artwork after artwork.

“Debatable.” Natsu said easily as he shrugged, dodging Lucy’s ear flick with a quick motion. The two exchanged stuck out tongues like youths, the previous episode washed away with each step and moment in Natsu’s light.


	8. iix

“Oh my, when you said you had been collecting I had no  _idea_  you meant like this…” Lucy breathed, turning around herself to gaze at the shelves upon shelves of overspilling bookcases that lined the libraries walls. Two stories tall and only broken by stained glass windows, the room felt dreamlike to Lucy in the flicker of the candle light Natsu had spread around before allowing her in.

“I could never remember which style ya liked, so I just collected  _everything._  I hope it’s okay,” Natsu grinned at her, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Lucy held a hand to her chest, heart seizing at the feelings that crashed over her. That Natsu had loved her so intensely for so long, to gather a library of this size, Lucy could not recall feeling more cherished in any of her lives.

“Oh, Natsu, I adore it!” Lucy cried, throwing herself into his arms. She hugged him tight as he stepped back, a burst of lightness drawing giggles from her lips as he swung her around. Natsu nuzzled his nose into her crown, Lucy tucking her head into the crook of his neck when she felt his chest shake with his own deep laughter. They danced around the common area, Lucy beaming up at Natsu with a flushed face when he set her down on a writing desk.

A memory passed through Lucy like a phantom, her back arching off the wood, papers scattered as she tore at her hair in wild abandon, Natsu’s hand on her hips as he buried himself deep and hard in-

_Oh._

Lucy’s breath caught in her throat, her arms tightening around Natsu. She felt him stiffen as well, fingertips biting hard into her hips where he held her.

“Natsu,” Lucy said softly, lips ghosting over the smooth skin of his neck as she spoke, “do you remember the last time you sat me on this desk?”

“I do,” he growled, voice barely reaching more than a rumble that traveled through her bones and resonated in her core.

“As I recall,” she drawled, lifting her leg and drawing it along the side of his thigh, suggestive and coy in ways that Lucy never imagined she could be, “we nearly broke this poor antique.”

“It wasn’t an antique when I last placed you on it,” he grinned against her temple. Lucy’s breath caught in her throat as she angled her head back, watching the high ceilings through slitted lashes as Natsu drew his fangs along her skin.

“Then I believe it is time that we re-antiquate it with it’s less than proper purpose,” Lucy said softly, hands roaming along Natsu’s back under his cape and tugging at his hair, placing him firmly at her neck. A shiver passed along Lucy at the noise Natsu made in agreement, low and feral as he tasted her skin.

Lucy gasped as pleasure tore along her veins when Natsu sunk his teeth into her skin, his hands on her hips bruising where he held her. She pressed him closer with her legs, Natsu’s hold on her shifting so he wrapped his arms around her body and crushed her to him. Fire danced inside Lucy, her mind wiped clear of her thoughts as her body mouled to his like it was meant to be, firmness between her thighs drawing a heady moan and hot blush from her and breasts yearning to be free from the corset she had put herself in.

Lucy whimpered when she heard a low groan sound in Natsu’s throat as he drank from her, hands possessive and needy where they could touch and hold her. She clawed at his back when he rocked his hips against hers, memories of knowing him in such ways stealing her breath and making her yearn to know the feeling in this life. Her entire being ached for him, and she sensed the change in Natsu as well as he grew rougher with her, drinking more heavily and dropping a hand to her behind and crashing her against his growing manhood.

“Natsu,” Lucy called, light and breathy as she let him take hold over her mind. Natsu growled, the vibrations travelling from his lips on her skin to settle in her gut. Her vision danced above her, heart pounding in her chest as Natsu pulled back from her. Lucy whined as all that was left were echos of the pleasure that had been ravaging her as Natsu fed, gripping his jaw and pulling him back to her.

His normally emerald gaze was the same fierce red as it had been the first time he had bit her, pupils blown wide and bloodstained lips parted from the strength of his heavy breaths. Lucy crashed his mouth to hers, kissing him deeply, desperate for more of him than she could dream of. Lucy understood those novels she had read now, passion driving the women and men mad, hunger leaving all sense from them.

Natsu chuckled against her kiss, fingers gentle as they traced her cheekbones and pushed her back. Lucy’s breath came to her as if she had just ran through her forest, and she struggled against Natsu’s hold in an effort to taste his mouth again.

“I have to admit,” Natsu drawled, thumbs caressing her skin where they touched her, “it is nice to be on this end of bloodlust.”

Lucy furrowed her brow at his words, simply content to rest in his arms and under his touch now, the odd forcefulness of her desire only a smoulder in the back of her mind. “What is bloodlust?” She asked, keeping Natsu close as she tangled her limbs around him.

“Bloodlust is a reaction humans have to being bit by a vampire. If it’s a bad reaction it will be painful. You experienced that first hand,” Natsu said dryly, eyes flat and small smirk humourless. Lucy felt her cheeks puff, and she reached and pinched his nose between two of her fingers as a means of silencing his dark thoughts. Natsu yelped exaggeratedly but smiled at her fully before continuing. “If it’s a good reaction then the person wants the vampire to continue feeding, and may experience some  _extra_ effects. Passion and need, for example.”

Natsu’s grin was hungry as he ducked his head closer to her, lips brushing the swell of her cheek as he spoke. “Lucy, you smell  _delicious_  when in the thralls of lust.” He purred, fingers fisting at her backside once more. Lucy blushed at his crude words, embarrassed by her body’s reaction to Natsu’s touch and presence.

“Lucy!” a high voice called above them. Lucy looked up in confusion, thoughts stolen from her conversation with Natsu as a dark blue blur came to her, falling from the sky like a shooting star. With an unlady like shriek Lucy jolted back, eyes wide as the strange object flew at her chest. Lucy sat frozen on the edge of the writing desk as she blinked at her bosom, and the strange blue creature that was currently trying to pull it’s head from between her breasts. With a happy chirp the thing righted itself, still cuddled close to Lucy’s pounding heart. Lucy recognized it as a cat, only a few months bigger than a kitten and with the oddest bright blue fur. It’s whiskers twitched as it took in her scent, fur soft where it brushed against her skin.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you Lucy!” It said in a high voice, purring as it nuzzled her neck, big eyes bright as it pulled away to look at her again. Lucy would have found it odd that the creature was talking if not for the fact that the thing that swooped at her from the sky had had wings, and this animal distinctly did  _not._

“Who are you?” Lucy asked, voice breaking as she looked down at the talking cat half pressed into her dress. Lucy feared she had spoken wrong when tears welled in the cat’s large dark eyes, whiskers twitching once more as it gave a pathetic sniff. It shifted in her dress, Lucy lifting her arms to support it’s small body.

“Natsu, you meanie, you haven’t told her about me yet?” it whined, curling into Lucy’s body heat in agitation at Natsu’s apparent lack of manners.

“Sorry Happy, with the train ride and her memory we haven’t had a buncha time to discuss things.” Natsu said in apology, giving Happy a small smile. Lucy found it an odd name for a cat, but she supposed most cats couldn’t grow wings or speak with humans.

“Well?” Lucy asked, tone pointed but lips fighting a teasing curl as she looked at Natsu. She giggled when Happy beamed at her, a purr travelling from its throat as it nuzzled her jaw.

“Lucy, this is Happy! He’s my best friend!” Natsu exclaimed, grin bright and as full as Lucy could only vaguely remember seeing. Lucy looked down at the cat in her arms, instantly find and thankful that the small creature had given Natsu light in the darkness of his life before. Perhaps that meant Natsu hadn’t been as alone as she had feared.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Happy. I am Lucy.” Lucy said, grinning at Happy’s playful chirp. He crawled from her arms, perching on her shoulder and rubbing his cheek along hers with deep strokes and deeper purrs. “I have to ask, how did Natsu find such a unique cat as yourself?”

“I’m not a cat!” Happy said brightly. Lucy cocked her head in confusion when he lept from his perch on her. With a loud gasp, Lucy watched as Happy transformed mid flight into a bat, fur still as bright blue and wide and innocent eyes remaining in his new form. “I’m a shifter!”

He flew to Natsu then, circling his head as Natsu grinned fondly at his friend. Happy morphed back to a cat, curling into a tight ball on Natsu’s crown. Natsu seemed unfazed, as if this were a common occurrence for them. “Now it’s nap time Natsu, so mean making me carry Lucy’s luggage to our castle. Do her dresses weigh so much because she’s so big?”

“I beg your pardon?” Lucy asked, offended at Happy’s insinuation.

“You’re bigger that your paintings!” Happy yawned. “Taller and with a bigger chest.”

Lucy covered her breasts, flushing at their mention. She looked at Natsu then, distracted from lecturing Happy about manners by the sad look in his eyes as he gazed at her. “Would I be taller from a better diet in this life?” Lucy asked him, curious.

“You’re taller because you’re older, Luce,” Natsu said gently. “You were only fifteen, sixteen when you were turned in our last life. This is the longest your body has ever been allowed to age before.”

“Oh,” Lucy said softly. She looked down at her hands, examining the lines and faint scar she had on her left palm from when she fell from a tree in her sixth year. These hands were somehow older and newer than the ones Natsu had known. All of her being was. Melancholy washed over her, Lucy unsure how to process this new information. How did Natsu feel, or was he so elated about finding her soul that he had not stopped to think on it yet? Her hands came closer to her body, fingers curling in to hide the suddenly unfamiliar skin from her sight. Lucy wondered if she could ever reconcile who she had been and who she was now.

“Lucy?” Lucy raised her gaze to the small cat nested in Natsu’s hair at his soft call, Happy watching her with worried looks.

“I am fine,” Lucy said, smiling easily as she tried to assure him.

“You were always a terrible liar,” Natsu sighed. He ran his knuckles along her cheek, Lucy leaning into the warm and comforting contact. “I love every variation of you that ever was and will be, Lucy. Stop thinking weird thoughts, I hate seeing you not smiling.”

Lucy gave him a watery smile, cupping his hand within her own. “Okay,” she giggled. Natsu seemed to have a magic touch to diffuse any dark thoughts she was holding, pulling a grin unbidden to her lips even if she was near tears. She loved him. She fully, truly, completely loved him. Lucy was halted from telling him so, lips already parted when Happy began to speak again.

“Natsu, the bags were too heavy to carry so I left them at the steps.” He whined, kneading at Natsu’s scalp as he resettled himself.

“You whiner, they were  _not_ that heavy,” Natsu huffed, look fond and irritated as he lifted his eyes in the direction of Happy’s high voice.

“They were too,” Happy argued, whiskers twitching in a pout as he glared down at Natsu. Natsu sighed, giving Lucy an apologetic look.

“I think I’d like to explore the library a bit more,” Lucy said, smiling softly at Natsu’s large grin. Lucy wasn’t solely giving him an excuse to deal with Happy either, the books had started to call to Lucy and her fingers itched to touch and feel them and read their stories for herself. She may have eternity before her, but that did not mean Lucy wasn’t eager to begin.

Lucy hummed to herself as she travelled along the wall with the widow, skimming the book spines and waiting for one to call to her. None on the shelves in her range did, and so Lucy continued to past the divider bookshelf, a second and smaller space revealed. It was cozier, with more chaises and plush pillows strewn about, flat with disuse. Lucy looked over the sequestered space, smiling as she imagine herself, curled on a plush sofa with Natsu’s head in her lap and Happy curled on his chest.

A break in the shelving opposite the side she had entered on stole her away from her fantasy, and Lucy walked into the secluded room without hesitation.

A large desk sat in the centre of the room, oak ages and simple compared to the grand one in the main room of the library. Lucy took the matches from the side table to the left of the open door, walking around the smaller perimeter of the room and lighting the candles that hung on the wall. Lucy blew out her spent match, settling in the worn writing chair.

A pile of letters caught Lucy’s attention, spilling out from a compartment at the back of the desk. She pulled one out when writing on the front caught her attention, her name scrawled in scratchy writing her mind whispered was Natsu’s. She opened it, curious as to what Natsu would have written for her to read.

~~_Dear Lucy,_ ~~

~~_Is that weird? To say dear? We were never that formal with each other befo_ ~~

~~_Hey_ ~~

~~_Hi_ ~~

~~_Gods I miss you_ ~~

_Lucy,_

_I asked you once why you wrote to your mom even though you’d never be able to send them, and I remember you told me it was because her soul was always with you, and it kept her alive for you to remember her. And gods, Lucy, I’d do anything to keep your soul alive. It’s all I have left._

_It’s been too many years to count since I was in any sort of mental state to gather myself like this. You ~~wer~~ are always better with words than I could hope to be._

_I miss you._

_I still love you._

_I promise I’ll see you again._

_Natsu_

Lucy stared at the shaking letter, numbly aware it was by her own hand that it was moving before her eyes. Before she could stop herself she was reaching for the next one, pulling it open, praying to see less pain in his words.

_Lucy_

_If your soul was reborn, would I even be a man you could love?_

_Natsu_

Lucy threw it aside, tears over spilling down her cheeks as she opened another letter.

_Lucy_

_I met a scryer today. She was a wicked old hag, but let me sleep in her hut when the hunters were out. Bastards keep chasing me, going off the stories of their fathers. Haven’t even touched a damned human in decades._

_Anyway._

_I’m sorry I’m rambling._

_The witch told me I might see you again. Apparently some souls can be reborn, especially those that were taken violently. Souls only can cycle once though, but Porly said you had had a new soul. That you’ll come back one day. I can see you again._

_I’d always hoped somehow, but to think it’d really be possible. To hold you. Hear your voice. Gods Lucy I’ve missed you. ~~I’ve missed the life we were supposed to have. The fam~~_

_I love you._

_I’ll always love you._

_I promise I’ll see you again._

_Natsu_

Lucy held the letter to her chest, reaching for another one. She didn’t care that they were out of order. She just needed to read them, his words to her. His love.

_Lucy_

_I’m so sorry._

~~_I_ ~~

~~_We weren’t_ ~~

~~_It wasn’t supp_ ~~

_She kissed me. ~~And~~_

_And I didn’t hate it._

_Gods Lucy. I can’t. I love you. But being with her is the closest to feeling I’ve had in a long time. I’ll never love her, never be in love with her. But she is a dear friend. And I I know you wouldn’t want me to be alone. But I’m betraying you. Your soul is still out there. Waiting to be reborn. ~~It’s been a hundred years since I met the witch, but~~_

_I’m sorry._

_I don’t deserve to love you._

_Natsu_

* * *

_Lucy_

_I’m sorry it’s been so long since I wrote. Lisanna has been unwell. Happy and I tried to help but, nothing worked. We left her with a human village. She should heal there. Were humans always this fragile? Is that why you were so scared of hurting me when we first met?_

_I don’t think I’ll ever know those answers._

~~_I don’t think I’ll ev_ ~~

~~_I hope I d_ ~~

_I want to believe I’ll see you again. Someday. Maybe in my next life. Maybe then we can stay together and go on more adventures._

_Maybe._

_Natsu_

* * *

_Lucy_

_I tried again._

_Threw myself off a cliff. I know you’d be disappointed, but I can’t keep living like this._

_I can’t._

_I should have let Gray finish the job. My neck still aches when I come to close to blessed objects._

~~_Maybe third time will be the charm._ ~~

_I’m just so tired, Lucy. I miss you so much. I’m tired of being alone. Of hurting._

~~_Some_ ~~

~~_I_ ~~

~~_Lucy I just_ ~~

_Sometimes I’m tired of loving you._

_And that’s. That’s unforgivable._

_Everything else I’ve ever done pales in the wickedness of that feeling. I can never forgive myself._

_You’d never forgive me either._

_There are many things you’d never forgive me for._

_Natsu_

* * *

_Lucy_

_I dreamed of you again. It’s stopped hurting, dreaming of you. I almost forgot what it sounded like when you laughed. I haven’t cried so hard in many many years. I wonder if I’ll ever see you reborn, or if you’ll pass by without me knowing. You may have already._

_I’ll never stop waiting though, Lucy._

_I promise._

_I love you._

_Natsu_

* * *

_Lucy_

_Happy managed to turn into five different creature today! It was amazing. You would have laughed so hard, seeing a blue mouse being chased by an owl. Happy scared it off later as a bat, so don’t worry._

_You’d love him._

_You were always so good with children, and Happy’s basically a child._

~~_You would have been an amazing_ ~~

_I tell him about you all the time. He’s so excited to meet you. So am I. I wonder what you’ll be like in this life. If you’ll look the same. You’ll always be my Lucy, but it’s nice to think about. I hope you keep that mole on your left shoulder. I liked kissing it._

_Love_

_Natsu_

* * *

_Lucy_

_I miss you. I always miss you. Please come back to me._

_Natsu_

“Lucy?”

Lucy looked up, lip wobbling as she stifled a hiccup. Natsu stood in the doorway, eyes wide as he looked at the pile of letters in front of Lucy. He remained frozen as Lucy stood, the last letter she had read clutched in her hands, the three sentences slashing her already torn heart. She couldn’t say anything, only barely able to walk as she moved to him. Lucy sobbed, throwing herself into his arms.

“Natsu, oh my love, my dragon, you w-were i-in s-so much pain. I h-hurt y-you for so many ye-years,” Lucy wailed, curling into him. He held her steady, arms strong as they crushed her to him. “I f-forgive you. You s-said I-I c-could never but it should be me who’s asking your forgiveness for taking so long to return to you. You de-deserve love a-and happiness, all through those years and I k-kept th-that from you-”

Natsu soothed her, soft shushing sounds and stroking of her hair as he led her to a loveseat. Lucy looked at him through her tears as he sat down and pulled her with him, Lucy curled in his lap and arms circling her body protectively. Tears of his own ran in streams down his face. Lucy reached a shaking hand, cupping his cheek and wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“I love you,” Lucy whispered, leaning into Natsu touch when he cupped her cheek as well.

“I love you too, Lucy,” Natsu said, voice hoarse.

“I’m sorry I read them. I shouldn’t have pried but I saw my name and-”

“Shh,” Natsu cut off her rambling, stroking her cheekbone as she hiccuped, sobs lessening finally allowing her to breath. “They were for you. They are yours.”

Lucy brushed her lips over his, struggling to communicate all the love and pain and heartache she felt for him. Trying to wash away the hurt he had felt for centuries. He was so strong, living with the pain. Lucy wasn’t sure she could have.

“Never leave me,” Lucy said, burying her face in the crook of his neck, soft scarf muffling her words. “Never leave me and never let me leave you again.”

“I promise,” Natsu growled, holding her so tight Lucy thought she might break. But she would rather break in his arms than live another hundred years in someone else’s.

They stayed wrapped in each other, Lucy calming after a time, soothing herself with his heartbeat. He was here with her. She hadn’t lost him before she had gotten the chance to return, despite the attempts of his own hand and others. Her nails dug into his arms through his shirt, chaining him to her and the earth. She would never again allow Natsu to fall into the darkness he had before. Lucy swore it to herself. She would never allow her Natsu to hurt again.

And she would hunt down and tear anyone who lifted a weapon against him limb from limb.

Lucy let the savage thought drift away from her, a beast in the back of her mind purring as she soothed it with fierce promises.

“Take us to our chamber please, Natsu,” Lucy said softly.

Natsu nodded at her worn request, lifting her as if she weighed nothing and taking her back to their bed, though Lucy succumbed to her exhaustion long before Natsu laid her in their sheets. 


	9. ix

“Natsu, may I ask you a question?”

Lucy trailed her forefinger along a crease of his shirt, his skin warm through the fabric under her finger. An old novel sat forgotten on the cushion to her side, hours since a word had been read from its page. The fire flickered over its coals in the stone fireplace before them, the plush settee pulled close so that the light caught on the aged plum fabric. Lucy’s toes curled in the velvet under them, her wearing of stockings lost sometime in the two moon cycles since they had arrived in their castle, a practice she now appreciated as she felt softness ground her in the moment. A moment she thought would only appear to her in novels; curled under the arm of her soulmate, a kitten on her lap and warm fire in front of her banishing the cold of the night, much like how Natsu had banished the cold from her life.

Natsu’s breathing deepened, his head tilting in her direction as his gaze remained focused on tracing the patterns in the embers dancing in the fire. Lucy pressed more into his side at his acknowledgement, her head heavy as she lay it on his scarf that hung around his neck, a part of him as much as his leg or fangs.

“How did you come to carry the scar on your neck?” Lucy breathed, her palm laid flat over her heart to remind herself that despite everything, he was here with her in this moment. Natsu stilled under her, Lucy remaining in her spot despite his tenseness, knowing that this was simply Natsu’s method of processing his thoughts. Happy trilled from his spot curled in her lap, his head lifting and whiskers twitching while he looked between her and Natsu. He held curiosity in his gaze, but remained quiet as he too waited for Natsu to speak.

“Do you really want to know, Luce?” Natsu questioned. His voice was muffled in Lucy’s hair, his nose buried against her as he often did when they held one another, as though he were reminding himself that she was real with her scent the way Lucy did with his heartbeat.

“Yes,” Lucy said softly, remaining unmoving so as not to push Natsu and to give him the time to collect himself from his thoughts and inner wars.

His chest rose and fell under her with a heavy sigh, the hand that had been tracing patterns into her hip tightening on her as he pulled her close to him. “It’s not a happy story.”

“But it is still one of yours, and that is all I need to know I wish to hear it. Please, Natsu, share with me the life I missed by your side.”

Lucy met his gaze as Natsu pulled back, the soft adoration coating his sharp emerald colour and the pull of a corner of his lip up sending Lucy’s heart into a wild beat. No matter the conversation or the time, the effect Natsu’s sheer presence had on her was never lost, nor lost on Lucy’s mind. She traced his jaw with her finger before cradling the side of face, Natsu relaxing as he leaned into her touch, his eyes fluttering closed easily.

Natsu was slow as he opened his eyes, unhurriedly taking her in and tracing her like one would trace their favourite painting, already a hundred times familiar but never losing its pull and beauty. The way he looked at her made Lucy  _feel_  as though she were a masterpiece of art, more grounded than a marble statue but just as delicate as a paper sketch by a master. His own hand lifted, back of his knuckle tenderly dancing against the heated skin on the swell of her check. The time passed around them, both content with the silence that encased them as comforting and warm as a blanket, Lucy allowing Natsu to take the first step to further their conversation and Natsu simply drinking in the moment of having her in his arms. Lucy knew as such as he had told her when she asked him why he would simply look at her for such long periods of time, unspeaking, and he had replied that he was simply making sure to note every detail lest he wake and his miracle had been nothing more than a cruel dream.

Lucy had cried in his arms again at that, before tucking him under her chin and telling him in as confident and final whisper as she could that she would never leave him again.

“It was a lifetime ago,” Natsu started slowly, gaze still as soft as his touch as he spoke, focus lost in his emerald colour and Lucy felt as though he were looking through her and watching the memory from the view of a spectator rather than himself. “I don’t suppose you have a recollection of a man named Gray Fullbuster, do you? He always looked a cross between confused as to why he just entered a room and as if someone had pissed in his tea?”

“Natsu!” Lucy chastised, swatting at his shoulder as her cheeks heated in shock at his crudeness. He chuckled at her reaction, fingers trailing through the loose hair beside her temple before cupping the side of her head, his fingers tickling the back of her neck. The joy dimmed in his eyes as he continued to look at her, the same tired dullness that came when he remembered his years without her clouding his gaze.

“He was one of our closest friends. A surly bastard, always carrying too much pain in his heart. As if I’m one to lecture on clinging to the past,” Natsu scoffed at himself, face pinched as he turned away from her slightly. “Used to curse fate for making a vampire hunter the thing he hated the most.”

Lucy listened patiently, unease curling through her body like blood as she feared she knew where this story would go, dreading the thought of someone Natsu had once held dear to him pushing a blessed blade to his throat.

“How did we meet him?” She asked, hoping to delay the inevitable conclusion she had asked to be told, suddenly desperate to remain ignorant of the pain Natsu had endured and to keep him from remembering the betrayal. Lucy lowered her gaze, tracing the lines of his lips, not quite full but neither thin, flesh pinker than the tan colouring which had only been regaining its healthy glow as Lucy insisted he fed daily. Darker dots scattered across his skin mimicking constellations, centralized on his nose and cheeks but a few tracing his jaw from the corner of the left of his mouth to his ear, straying as the morning star strayed from its sisters of the night.

Natsu brought her attention back to the present, lifting her chin with his knuckle so softly Lucy melted into his touch easily. She gathered his free hand in both of her own, giving him a reassuring grip as she offered him a weak smile, knowing he saw through her excuse to delay, accepting it easily in his own desire to shield her from himself. A thought which Lucy found incredulous, but knew it would take more than a few months to free Natsu of, if not years.

“We first crossed his path when he was human, and I had only been a vampire for a few decades, four or five I think?” Natsu frowned, brow knitting as he thought. “It’s hard to keep track honestly. All the years start to blur into pockets of centuries. I can remember specifics, like the first time we swam in the ocean under the Blood Moon, and the time we joined for hours in the tower on top of the mountain while the villagers thought we were the gods of life and fertility. I can remember your black and gold ballgown and the way it fit you as if it had been painted on your body by a master themselves, the way your eyes shone and how you threw your head back in abandon when we danced at the birthday gala of some princess and her wife, but I could not tell you when or where we were.”

“We were on an island that no longer is remembered on maps, and it was only fifty years before I can remember no more,” Lucy whispered. She brought his hand to her lips, brushing dozens of kisses along his knuckles, barely brushing his toughened skin with butterfly touches, soothing the pain she had felt in his voice as he spoke of fading details. “You told me that you were glad to never sleep as your dreams would never match your reality in a million years.”

“And I still mean that now,” Natsu grinned at her, gently pulling his hand from hers so he could cup the sides of her head and lead her forehead to rest on his his. Lucy closed the final distance and pressed her lips to his, soft and slow and reverent, savouring the beginning of the eons of time they had before them to simply be as one.

She pulled back, pressing against Natsu’s side while lifting Happy to her chest as a comforting pillow to hold, settling into her new spot with her head over Natsu’s heart and between his thighs, one bent against the back of cushion and the other planted firmly on the floor. He held her as she held Happy, close and tight as though she were a charm that could banish away all ill wishing shadows. His chest rose under her, and Lucy knew he was gathering himself to speak.

“After you died, I broke. Mentally, emotionally, every way that I could have broken, I did. When you were killed, Lucy, when you were taken from me and I came home to see what was waiting, my soul  _broke_.” Natsu spoke impassionately, as if he were discussing the weather. These were simply facts to him, and that broke Lucy more than his pain itself. “I did horrible things in my pain. Unforgivable things Lucy.”

“I will never love you any less than I most fully could,” Lucy whispered, pressing herself firmer into him. She refused to allow her light to lose himself in the darkness he thought he belonged in.

“I killed them.”

Lucy blinked, her breath catching like a stone in her throat. Natsu was looking beyond her, shoulders relaxed and still somehow curled in, chin tilted down. Weak. Defeated. “What?” Lucy asked, pushing him to elaborate.

“The village. I killed it. They had stormed our home, burned it to its bones, leaving your body in its wreckage like you were nothing. They bled you like we were monsters, and so I gave them what they desired. A monster. A shadow in the forest that fed on the screams of its victims, a soulless being that was cursed to wander the earth, a nightmare to tell the children and an excuse for their drunk bastard of a husband to not return in the middle of the night. All the stories humans would tell for their own ends. As if I cared for their lives. As if anything mattered after…

“I spilled human blood, uncountable times, ruthlessly, without remorse. But the only time I ever brought the fight to them was the day I came home. And even then, they had made the first move. An earth-shattering call of war. A war they lost, so ignorant of those they had championed a fight with that they were shocked to see me unharmed in the light of day, even as I tore out their throats.”

Natsu remained still as he spoke, statuesque and unyielding. Lost in the past, and Lucy knew somewhere in her soul that he was reliving every time he had spilled human blood. Her heart ached, not only for him, but for the people he had killed. For all the pain and the cloud of misery that hung over her love. And yet, when she thought of the village, of the women and the children that had undoubtedly been within its borders, Lucy felt nothing. No empathy. No sorrow at the loss of innocents. She knew,  _knew_ , somewhere in her mind that none of them were innocent, and it rocked her core that she could feel that way. Life was sacred, it always had been to her. It was what her mother taught her, the value, the  _gift_  of life.

But here she sat, in the arms of someone that could call himself a monster without a hint of pause, knowing in her soul that he was not.

The village had gotten what it deserved.

“And what of Gray?” Lucy asked, pressing her palm to his cheek. His gaze focused on her, still fogged with memories that should never have been allowed to be made in the first place, pain so palpable that Lucy felt she could almost simply reach out and tear it away from him herself.  “I am still here Natsu. I know, and I love you, and I am still here by your side. So please, tell me of how you now wear your scar.”

“Word spread to the hunters of a ‘beast gone rogue’,” Natsu spat, looking away from Lucy’s prying gaze while pressing his hand to hers so it was trapped firmly in place against his cheek. Lucy ran her thumb over the sharpness of his cheekbone, smiling as finally, Natsu focused on her. She nodded her head just a hair of a breath, urging him to continue but not wanting to speak and break the spell that was allowing Natsu to open up. “And so they sent the one most desperate to rid the world of our plague, despite him being one of those he hated so fully. I couldn’t believe it, when I saw him,” Natsu shook his head, small grin twisted and dark as he laughed dryly.

“First I had had my future torn from my life, and then my best friend was sent to be the one to put me down. Poetic, considering he was at the beginning with us. Why not the end as well.”

Lucy blinked twice, shaken. The Gray she knew would never have actually tried to kill Natsu. They had fought over the centuries, more like brothers forced to be in the same room during a spat than friends, but never on opposing sides. That Gray could turn his back on Natsu when he needed him most, it shattered Lucy’s heart. He was part of her family. He was who she had counted on to reign Natsu’s grief in when she was gone. Lucy’s gaze fell to the scar traveling half his neck, and rage burned hot and white in her, stealing the breath from her lungs. Her hands shook as she pulled Natsu to her, tucking him into her shoulder, her arms holding him tightly to her. The fabric of his shift bunched under her fingers, and Lucy bowed her head so her nose was buried in his wild hair. Happy shifted, steps as soundless as he voice, knowing now was not a time for him to be anything other than a comforting presence at the sides of those in pain.

“I’m going to maim him the next time our paths cross. And then when he is healing he will explain his  _stupid_  thoughts as to how he could hurt you.” Lucy hissed. Natsu shook in her arms, his laughter deep and full as his arms wound around her in return.

“It was a lifetime ago,” Natsu said, the pain from before lost in his words, unnervingly quick if Lucy had not known him so well.

“But it was your lifetime, and I’m going to hurt that moody bastard,” she huffed. Lucy paused at her lack of decorum in her words, her tongue slipping into old habits of being secluded with Natsu as the only witness for her drop in social convention. She pushed it aside, along with Happy’s purrs of mirth, choosing to focus on the man in her arms over her own discoveries.

“Did my ears deceive me or has my fair wife cursed?” Natsu prodded her, his grin wide where Lucy felt it brush the column of her neck. Lucy huffed, her breath making his rose hair tickle her nose.

“We both know how poor of an influence you are on me, my love,” Lucy said in return. The banter was forgotten between them as Natsu responded to Lucy’s endearment. His grin paused, weight falling more into Lucy as he settled into her. His lips brushed over her neck the barest amount before a firmer kiss was pressed to the side of her neck, and then the hollow under her ear, and the line of her jaw, and finally where Natsu had first bitten her. The memory of that first painful encounter of this life was pushed aside by all the other times filled with pleasure that flooded Lucy’s mind. Lucy called his name, turning her head to expose her neck to him, pulse so loud in her own ears she couldn’t imagine how it sounded to Natsu’s.

“Now who is the poor influence,” Natsu asked, voice rasped with dryness. His lips moved against her skin and sent warm shivers along her spine at the touch, Natsu remaining in his place tucked against her, their bodies intertwined like their hearts. The tense sadness from before was washed away, but Natsu’s lips simply ghosted her tender skin rather than anything more. “I promise I’ll feed later Lucy, right now, I just want to lay like this.”

Lucy closed her eyes slowly, breathing in calming breaths to steady her racing heart. Natsu had spoken low, cautious of her answer and Lucy couldn’t help the sting it pulled in her soul. “Of course Natsu. Whatever you need.” She spoke as soothingly as possible, letting her fingers run through his hair, massaging his scalp as she tried to ease his worries. Natsu relaxed against her, pressing a chaste kiss to her pulse before resting his forehead to it, curling into her.

“All I need is you. All I’ll ever need is you.”

Lucy all but swooned, placing her lips atop his head.

Together they stayed like that, their family re-found after being torn apart, Happy too feeling natural as though he had meant to be there all along. The night pushed on as they remained wrapped in each other’s arms, simply being, safe from all the demons of the past and scars that remained, watching the fire return to smoke and embers.

**Author's Note:**

> LMAO WELCOME  
> So  
> This exists  
> I mean it's all so shameless and there will be smut and angst and fluff like  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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